What sucks about NZ and Aus
23 Feb 2006
Keo, in his News 24 column, writes of the places and players that suck when South Africa’s players go Down Under.
We now know that the Aussie players think Pretoria is the worst city to visit during the Vodacom Super 14, Loftus is the worst ground to play at and De Wet Barry is the dirtiest player they’ve confronted in the competition. Then there’s Jerry Collins, whom they fear the most when it comes to being tackled.
So what if the South African players, like their Aussie counterparts, were asked to complete a similar questionnaire on the likes and dislikes of touring Australia and New Zealand. What would they rate as the best and worst of life on tour Down Under?
Having toured with most of the players for a decade and having been involved with the national set-up for three years I can tell you that a fair amount of banter and bitching goes on when it comes to getting on a plane and trekking to the other side of the world.
There is far more ‘worst’ than ‘best’. So based on this experience, here’s an unofficial list of what goes and who doesn’t go when South Africa’s franchises hit the road for a month in Australia and New Zealand.
Worst place to visit
Australia: Canberra. It doesn’t get worse for the SA players than Australia’s capital. If the Aussies think Pretoria is bad they obviously don’t do too well in the introspection department. Canberra is a dive that lacks soul, character and any kind of appeal. They boast a Casino and that’s about it.
New Zealand: Hickville Hamilton. More often than not SA teams opt to stay in Auckland for as long as possible in the week and then they count down the minutes to Hamilton and the miles back to Auckland on a motorway that is a glorified back road. There is nothing more dangerous than an inbred, who has bumped into a bit of sophistication somewhere. That’s Hamilton for you. The town is awful and the cow bells are indicative of those who ring them at every home game.
Best place to visit
Australia: Sydney. The boys absolutely love the place. It reminds them of home and it is a place where they can roam and do their own thing. Good shopping, good coffee bars, good women and Ribs and Rumps, the steakhouse owned by South Africans on Manly’s promenade.
New Zealand: Queenstown. For those who get to play the Crusaders or Highlanders away, they always hope the schedule takes in a couple of day at New Zealand’s most picturesque town.
Least favourite ground
Australia: It would have to be the Bruce Stadium or whatever they call it these days in Canberra. It is like a big club ground and the depressing nature of Canberra usually has the necessary effect on the South Africans. The town has put them to sleep long before the Brumbies need to deliver any sort of knockout blow.
New Zealand: Every ground. When you win a handful of games in a decade, it doesn’t matter how they doll the ground up, defeat after defeat brings with it terrible memories. The old Athletic Park was a shocker. And the psychologically the ground that haunts the South Africans the most is Dunedin’s House of Pain, especially one Gaffie du Toit.
Dirtiest player
Australia: Justin Harrison was the idiot South African players all despised. He was in a class of his own.
New Zealand: Troy Flavell and Jerry Collins. Hard and dirty. If the left one doesn’t get you, the right one will. And if they both miss, you’ll either get a head or a boot.
Player(s) they can’t stand
Australia: Ben Tune (given what happened around the performance-enhancing supplements and no suspension) and Clyde Rathbone (for obvious reasons). New Zealand: Justin Marshall (for obvious reasons) – and the boys were never particularly fond of Carlos Spencer. Generally, though, they enjoy playing against the Kiwis and have far more respect for them than they have for the Aussies.
Player they most respect
Australia: Stephen Larkham. There is a huge appreciation by the SA players of his talents. They also think he’s a genuine bloke.
New Zealand: Richie McCaw. Walks the walk and never feels the need to talk the talk.
Worst referee
Australia: Stuart Dickenson. No one comes close, although they do think George Ayoub is a bit of a laugh. New Zealand: Steve Walsh, with Paul Honiss as a close second.
223 Comments
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23 Feb 2006, 15:57 pm
Predawn hasn’t had the full *** change yet, Dawn has… Easy!
23 Feb 2006, 15:59 pm
Well they’re both *******, regardless of ***…
23 Feb 2006, 16:06 pm
Grrrr…..I’m a Fanny, the Sharks meet your team this weekend…did you see what we did to the Blue Balls last Saturday. I foresee an *** kicking in the very near future. I won’t even mention the Super 14 as that’s already a foregone conclusion, the Cats amd the Stormers will be fighting it out to see who holds the wooden spoon. Good luck suckers!!
23 Feb 2006, 16:10 pm
Prementral
The Sharks are going to get whipped this weekend…
You’re dreaming if you think anything else…
Loser!!!
23 Feb 2006, 16:13 pm
*******! That the best you can do?
23 Feb 2006, 16:14 pm
That may be, but the Cats or the Stormers will still get relegated next year.
23 Feb 2006, 16:16 pm
Sharks or Cheetahs will go down this next year…
Oh look, it’s the two Dawns at once…
Can I get you guys a room, maybe???
23 Feb 2006, 16:19 pm
I’d even be opened minded enough to say Sharks or Stormers….don’t write off the Cheetahs yet.
23 Feb 2006, 16:23 pm
Predawn
Please stop, you are making me all misty eyed. What game are you refering to? A Vodacom Cup match?? Shame… Who cares???
23 Feb 2006, 16:26 pm
Dont be surprised if hte Reds finish bottom of the log this year! Now there is a kak team!
23 Feb 2006, 16:29 pm
Who cares? When those same players move up to Super 14 level you’ll care numbnuts.
23 Feb 2006, 16:30 pm
Spook that would make a welcome change.
23 Feb 2006, 16:31 pm
All just hogwash …….those Kiwi rugby players are ….YUMMY!!!! Dougie Howlett…..wow!!!
23 Feb 2006, 16:32 pm
Dont think s SA team will finish last this year!
23 Feb 2006, 17:03 pm
Predawn
Boo-hoo!!!
Why are you so mean to me??!!! Please stop!!!
23 Feb 2006, 17:04 pm
People who brag about their team winning the Vodacom Cup is almost as sad as people bragging their team won the Pro20…
23 Feb 2006, 17:35 pm
This site had potential but now it is just a select few clowns who post the most childish **** i have ever read….those of you who think it’s funny to say “dragons” all the time. You residents are like a bunch of chicks man, including Keo. You are an embarassment to SA.
23 Feb 2006, 17:44 pm
I am surprised George Gregan did not get an honourable mention as a tosser. Like his rugby but he is a real motor mouth on the field. Also a sharpie that will knock the ball out of his opposing scrum halves hands in an attempt to gain advantage.
23 Feb 2006, 19:00 pm
with a name like YEBO you arnt? lol climb out your own arse man just for one minute.If you dont like what you read, just dont read it.
23 Feb 2006, 21:21 pm
Tackler’s Thursday night:
5.15 pm – Log on to keo.co.za, start revving people up to make him feel better about himself.
10.13 pm – Finally log off keo.co.za feeling great as he has revved up a lot of people and now he can go to bed knowing that he has some purpose in this world.
24 Feb 2006, 00:33 am
So how many of YOU are good enough to attract an impersonator, hey?
Not a lot!
(Oh, and while I’m busy needling you, I might let you Jaaps in on a little secret! Those “sheep jokes” were really HUGE all over the world back in the 1980′s, but they kinda went out of fashion when Dallas and Flamingo Road fizzled out on the TV and men gave up wearing mullet “business in the front, party at the back” Jason Gillespie hair-dos which I am unreliably informed are still very much en vogue in Tshwane!)
24 Feb 2006, 06:39 am
sarky, george is not the first scrum half to play like that. Try and watch Harry Ellis play he makes gregan look like an angel
24 Feb 2006, 07:05 am
Yebo why dont you go to the MENSA site if you dont like it here?Piss off.
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