A: Shredded Tweet

“Julie!” screamed her mother, “why are you feeding birdseed
to the cat?”

“I have to,” Julie replied. “That’s where my canary is.”

Knock Knock

Who’s there?

Canary

Canary who?

Can Ari come out and play?

Two canaries in a cage, one was male and the other female. After many months, the male decided to meet the female. So he scooted over to her side of the cage and said,

“Since we’re in this together, why don’t I move over to your side of the cage!”

The female canary replied, “No, thanks!!”

So he went back to his side but found he could stay there no longer. Once again, he moved to her side of the cage. This time he asked,

“I am sorry I was to forward the first time. Why don’t we get to know each other first.”

To which she replied again, “No, thanks!”

Resigning himself to return to his side of the cage, he languished about for a bit then made one final effort. He went halfway across the cage and stated,

“Well, could we at least talk?”

This time she replied, “Oh, I am so sorry I have been so mean. You see I just learned I have a canarial disease called, “Chirpies” and I hear it is untweetable.”

Fact:- The Canary Islands in the Pacific ocean is named after what animal ?

A. Dogs.

Jim strolls into the paint section of a hardware store and walks
up to the assistant.

“I’d like a pint of canary-colored paint,” he says.

“Sure,” the clerk replies. “Mind if I ask what it’s for?”

“My parakeet,” says Jim. “See, I want to enter him in a canary
contest. He sings so sweet I know he’s sure to win.”

“Well, you can’t do that, man!” the assistant says. “The chemicals
in the paint will almost certainly kill the poor thing!”

“No they won’t,” Jim replies.

“Listen, buddy, I’ll bet you ten bucks your parakeet dies if you
try to paint him.”

“You’re on,” says Jim.

Two days later he comes back looking very sheepish and lays $10 on
the counter.

“So the paint killed him?”

“Indirectly,” says Jim. “He seemed to handle the paint okay, but he didn’t survive the sanding between coats.”

The material is also hydrophilic – meaning it wicks sweat from the body to the outside of the jersey – and its close-fitting nature supposedly reduces the effectiveness of opposition tacklers…

Oooh, aaah, it’s Kooga!!!

Why does it say “Quotas” on their t-shirts?

All Black or Springboks or Lions.

Im partial to a BaaBaas 1 myself, but it doesnt qualify on all afforementioned criteria.

Who the Hell is going to wear a Y E L L O W Australian jersey voluntarily without being paid to do so ?

Luke Watson would puke himself to death at the mere sight of it.

Humming: “all gold, all gold tastes real good..”

it cracks me up every single time.

Y E L L O W ?!?

The Bakkies family is actually renowned for using the tip of their index finger instead of the hand… wikipedia

Hydrosteel is a type of thin yet indestructible steel that is formed when water is hit very, very hard with the flat hand. Rumour has it Bakkies is going to quit rugby soon to join his dad’s hydrosteel business.