Comedy of errors
21 Sep 2010
Saru bosses will this week review Peter de Villiers’ tenure as Springbok coach. MARK KEOHANE, writing in Business Day Sport Monthly, looks at what they might find.
Go to Google and type in the name of Springbok coach Peter de Villiers. What you find are ramblings and articles and sites dedicated to the man’s quote hall of fame.
I went in search of the rugby talk behind the man: his philosophy and his views of the game. I looked for his reasoning when his team won and rugby talk about why they lost. I looked for reasons to justify why he is a rugby coach and good enough to be the coach of world champions.
I found nothing of substance about Peter de Villiers and rugby.
There is only a list of laughable quotes, compiled by every Neville Nobody of the blogging world, and every leading newspaper in the rugby world.
Victories and defeats define most coaches. Comedy defines De Villiers, whom the Australasian rugby media called part-time coach and full-time comedian.
The Sydney Morning Herald’s chief rugby writer Greg Growden wrote that De Villiers was to rugby what Richard Pryor was to comedy – the word hilarious was used, not the word inspirational.
I wanted to reflect De Villiers’ rugby insights to the defeats and his analysis of the victories of 2009 that followed the losses of 2008 and 2010. What I got were accusations of conspiracy, referee bias and the absolute disbelief that his team ever loses. The more he watches the match tape, he said, the more he doesn’t know how his team lost.
In reflecting on finishing last in the 2010 Tri-Nations, De Villiers said there was nothing wrong with his team selections, his use of substitutions or a defensive system that conceded 22 tries in six Tri-Nations Tests.
He also did not see any reason for concern that the Boks had lost eight of their past 11 Tests to Australia, New Zealand, France and Ireland.
Everything was looking good for a successful defence of the World Cup in New Zealand next year. Instead of rugby talk, this is the internet script on De Villiers the Bok coach.
‘If we want to eye-gouge any Lions we will go down to the bushveld like we do and eye-gouge them there.’
When the British and Irish media asked De Villiers how he could justify eye-gouging, he responded: ‘If we are going on like this, why don’t we go to the nearest ballet shop, get some tutus and get a dancing shop going? There will be no eye-gouging, no tackling, no nothing and we will enjoy it.’
Other quotes, as listed on sarugbyblog.com and several other sites, included: ‘What we try to tell them is when you point your finger into the sky, don’t concentrate on the finger because you’ll miss all the heavenly glory out there. Concentrate on the heavenly glory you can bring and make yourselves so fulfilled.’
When asked to explain a Bok defeat, he responded: ‘There’s little difference between winning and losing, except you feel better after winning.’
When asked to explain his culpability as coach, he went one better than urging his players to look beyond their fingers when pointing to the sky. He said: ‘The same people who threw their robes on the ground when Jesus rode on a donkey were the same people who crowned him and hit him with sticks, and were the same people who said afterwards how we shouldn’t have done that, he’s the son of God. So that’s exactly what we do. You have to look at history as repeating itself. And I’m not saying that I’m God.’
When criticised for a lack of coaching pedigree he retorted: ‘I’m a God-given talent, I’m the best I can ever be. So what you think doesn’t bother me. I know what I am and I don’t give a damn.’
When asked if he would do anything different after losing: ‘I won’t change my style, if I change my style I will change Peter de Villiers, and then I would have to tell God that he made a mistake when he made me.’
When asked what his style was, he said: ‘People say we want to play a Peter de Villiers style of rugby. What the devil is that? Let me explain it to you. There was a time when we were isolated [due to apartheid] but when we came back what we didn’t do was look at where we were strong. Instead we copied the model of the Australians and became more structured. We thought that was the only model available.
‘We just need to add a component to our game. We need players making decisions and playing the situation. It’s been very difficult [to implement this way of thinking]. Players are so used to playing on to each other, it’s a new thing to be making split-second decisions. With this kind of game comes responsibility. I know it’s hard [for the players] because they then have to take responsibility for what they do. But whatever decision they make, I will support the players even though I won’t always agree with that decision. We didn’t say we will [sic] win or lose.
According to De Villiers no team can control winning and losing, but before the Welsh Test in Cardiff earlier this year he rubbished Welsh talk that the Boks were vulnerable because he had not selected several first-choice players. He told the Welsh: ‘We will give them a psychological advantage and we cannot allow that. We’ve read in the papers here that they believe South Africa are ripe for the picking. They’re comparing us with some fruit from a Welsh fruit farm but they need to know that when you pick fruit, it isn’t just apples and pears; there are prickly pears as well. We want to be a prickly pear for them this Saturday.’
In keeping with fruit, this was his response to winning the Tri-Nations in 2009: ‘We are very organised at the moment, we don’t want to become a fruit salad.’
In 2010, however, the Boks were the fruit salad he wanted to avoid, although De Villiers felt there was a referee conspiracy and that the world had turned on his Boks because they were so good.
He said: ‘Speaking to IRB referees boss Paddy O’ Brien is a complete waste of time … People don’t want to see other teams being successful. That is my biggest problem at the moment. We can’t go public about certain things because we don’t have all the evidence, but the body language of certain officials when things went against us in that game made us worry … The officials were so happy when decisions went against us on the day. I am talking about the No 1 rugby team in the world. Shouldn’t they really get the other guys to that level? … Or do they want to break things down so that the game can become mediocre and everyone has a chance to win it? We don’t want to dwell on that point, but if that is the case, then I feel I am wasting my time by talking to them. I will then have to reconsider talking to them.’
De Villiers has consistently remained defiant and never felt the need to be anything but himself, as he put it. ‘I’ve got a job to do.
I think I’m a strong individual, a strong character. I don’t care what people think about me, I don’t care what people say about me. It’s what I think about me and myself – and I love myself a lot.’
But when former All Blacks and New Zealand Maori prop Craig Dowd called him a puppet De Villiers demanded an apology and accused Dowd of being racist.
A year later former Australian hooker Brendan Cannon called De Villiers a clown. The Springboks and De Villiers demanded an apology from Cannon, saying the word ‘clown’ had no place in rugby.
A week later De Villiers, in his column on the official Saru website, wrote that when a Bok coach wins he is superman and when he loses he is a clown.
On beating the All Blacks in 2009 he said: ‘We went wild, wild wild – and some of the guys went wilder than that.’
When commenting on why the Boks lost two consecutive Tests to New Zealand in 2010 he accused the opposition of cheating at the ruck.
‘I do not like to prepare guys to cheat and it seems to me to be the only way forward if you want to be on top of those kind of things, and that’s 70% of our game.’
De Villiers, when he succeeded Jake White, said his philosophy of life was that even the bad days were good days, and in the past three years his belief is that there have only been good days.
When questioned about the good days that came with hardship, he again referred to the Bible. ‘If you see how Joseph got out of the pit and ended up in the palace, but between the pit and the palace there was a moerse lot of kak.’
De Villiers, whether he cares to admit it, is in the pit once again. Just when he thought he had made it to rugby’s palace in 2009, he’s back where he was in 2008, taking a beating from New Zealand and Australia.
He remains undeterred, telling the media, the South African public and his employers that he is on track for the World Cup and he can’t understand the panic.
As one blogger so aptly asked, is De Villiers a misunderstood genius or a clown? To which another blogger so aptly responded: ‘The King is Dead; long live the Clown.’
– This article first appeared in the September issue of Business Day Sport Monthly, which is distributed free with the newspaper on the second last Friday of every month.
174 Comments
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21 Sep 2010, 14:41 pm
rassie
21 Sep 2010, 14:42 pm
Funny Dragons
21 Sep 2010, 14:42 pm
just heard that Rassie likely to be appointed the 1 st SA DOR….
21 Sep 2010, 14:43 pm
Tell u whats a comedy , Jake White’s winning ways !! Everytime u open your mouth to shoot down our national coach I will remind you of Jake Whites winning ways. You lost all credibility on that one Mark and co.
21 Sep 2010, 14:50 pm
@sparticus(sparticus)-4: Exactly
21 Sep 2010, 14:53 pm
@sparticus(sparticus)-4: ABsolutely!!
21 Sep 2010, 14:55 pm
GRANT10 (#3) – Is that true or rumours?
21 Sep 2010, 14:56 pm
Not worth getting into this really.
But Keo, perhaps it is a case of people actually sitting down with the guy, drop all the preconceived bullshit that most journalists carry, and actually talk rugby to the guy?
I chatted to him years before there was even a thought of him becoming national coach, this guy back then made more sense than most of the **** I hear from coaches today.
But like I said, not worth getting into all this again really.
@grant10(grant10)-3:
God help us.
21 Sep 2010, 14:57 pm
@PissAnt(PissAnt)-8:
Or scrap that, perhaps Rassie’s best position in rugby is one far removed from the training field…
Works for WP rugby at the moment…
21 Sep 2010, 14:58 pm
@race of tan(race of tan)-7: listen to Cape Talk at 3 pm today.
21 Sep 2010, 15:01 pm
“Go to Google and type in the name of Springbok coach Peter de Villiers. What you find are ramblings and articles and sites dedicated to the man’s quote hall of fame”
No Mark!
Go to www(dot)urbandictionary(dot)com and type in SNORISM!
21 Sep 2010, 15:09 pm
@grant10(grant10)-3: I actually feel Rassie’s best place is with the Juniors. He is great at identifying talent and we know he has the rugby knowledge , he just cant seem to do that well with the seniors.
At least we wont be hearing anything from Jake’s whinning ways from Keo from now on.
21 Sep 2010, 15:18 pm
Rassie’s best place is back in Bloemfontein sitting on the roof and directing the Cheetahs
21 Sep 2010, 15:21 pm
@Mighty Horua(Mighty Horua)-13: Now now , dont be a hater , as a team he and Alistair are doing well at WP.
21 Sep 2010, 15:21 pm
poor business day subscribers, being subjected to mark keohane’s kak and they think they’re imbibing insightful, well research commentary!
21 Sep 2010, 15:25 pm
@Transformation(Transformation)-15: Yup but it looks like he has bitten the hands that feeds him once too much.
21 Sep 2010, 15:27 pm
PDV = legend
21 Sep 2010, 15:41 pm
for every ‘outlandish’ comment made by PDV above, logic can be derived by just applying some reasoning. I also agree that the ‘research’ for this article was awful.
21 Sep 2010, 15:42 pm
@grant10(grant10)-10: They are talking about Rassie as possible SA under 20 coach as well as technical “director” with the Boks
21 Sep 2010, 15:44 pm
“He said: ‘Speaking to IRB referees boss Paddy O’ Brien is a complete waste of time … People don’t want to see other teams being successful. That is my biggest problem at the moment. We can’t go public about certain things because we don’t have all the evidence, but the body language of certain officials when things went against us in that game made us worry … The officials were so happy when decisions went against us on the day. I am talking about the No 1 rugby team in the world. Shouldn’t they really get the other guys to that level? … Or do they want to break things down so that the game can become mediocre and everyone has a chance to win it? We don’t want to dwell on that point, but if that is the case, then I feel I am wasting my time by talking to them. I will then have to reconsider talking to them.’” – never a truer word has been spoken about those precious Kiwis. These quotes remind of part of why I enjoy PdV – shoot from the hip, man…
21 Sep 2010, 15:45 pm
@CharlesM(CharlesM)-19: That would be good
21 Sep 2010, 15:50 pm
@CharlesM(CharlesM)-19: If that happens, you’d end up with robotic players who win most of the time, but without the entertainment value. This can be evidenced in the WP team.
21 Sep 2010, 15:52 pm
@Big Hit(Big Hit)-17: roar that.
21 Sep 2010, 15:52 pm
@sparticus(sparticus)-21: I agree. We need a new coach for the under 20s that can do the job. Rassie has been doing a lot of positive work with the Province under 21s. Rassie has always been a guy that liked doing the analyses of matches etc. and he is quite good at it.
21 Sep 2010, 15:54 pm
so Keo
does this mean that you no longer support PDivvy for a second term as Bok coach?
21 Sep 2010, 15:56 pm
@CharlesM(CharlesM)-19: very interesting…..
21 Sep 2010, 15:56 pm
@pompies2(pompies2)-18: He he he. You must be smoking the same stuff as PDV. So, humour me. What logic can be derived from the following statement?
‘Speaking to IRB referees boss Paddy O’ Brien is a complete waste of time … People don’t want to see other teams being successful. That is my biggest problem at the moment. We can’t go public about certain things because we don’t have all the evidence, but the body language of certain officials when things went against us in that game made us worry … The officials were so happy when decisions went against us on the day. I am talking about the No 1 rugby team in the world. Shouldn’t they really get the other guys to that level? … Or do they want to break things down so that the game can become mediocre and everyone has a chance to win it? We don’t want to dwell on that point, but if that is the case, then I feel I am wasting my time by talking to them. I will then have to reconsider talking to them.’
21 Sep 2010, 16:03 pm
@Heavens Game(Heavens Game)-20: give it a rest man, its the wisdom of words from a POOR loser, nothing more nothing less..
trying to save his own @rse by deflecting attention from his poor coaching and management skills..
though I see he has roped you into the conspiracy theory, no wonder your wife has it all over you, seems you dont have a spine..
21 Sep 2010, 16:06 pm
Personally i would sack every member of the 3 stooges…..and Plod for good measure.
21 Sep 2010, 16:06 pm
@Couchcoach(GI POT)-27: How much more literal do you want him to be? These are all observations he made. He is trying to manage the situation as diplomatically as he is able to. I think you’d agree that he has a valid point. While they might not have altered the result, some decisions the boks have been on the receiving end of, have shown to be contentious.
21 Sep 2010, 16:08 pm
@pompies2(pompies2)-30: are the Bok the only ones who got bad decisions?
cripes. you blokes have taken the mantle of whinging to another level…
seriously, why dont you guys go cry in your f@rkin milk..
PUSSIES!!!!
21 Sep 2010, 16:09 pm
@poppa69(poppa69)-28: The same could be said of Graham Henry. Last year he wasn’t too flash when he was minus Carter. This was a vital cog missing in the Mccaw/Carter coaching team.
21 Sep 2010, 16:11 pm
@pompies2(pompies2)-32: did henry infer they were robbed by referees last year? did Henry infer that there was a worldwide conspiracy to undermine his team?
no, he went away and looked at what he could change to rectify the situation…
21 Sep 2010, 16:16 pm
@poppa69(poppa69)-31: Steady on cowboy. I did say it might not have altered the result of the games. I’m not too stupid to deny the blacks were the better team. In fact the showed a blueprint which re-enforces the very idea of what rugby football is. However, I don’t think that standard of play can be sustained for a long period of time. I think the soweto and last bledisloe tests bears testimony to this. I think the differences between are smaller than the results suggest, and that slight improvements by either Aus/SA will make for much closer contests.
21 Sep 2010, 16:19 pm
bloody hell….
see latest arcticle on Rugby 365….
Hell man….WP rugby could be raped and pillaged here!
21 Sep 2010, 16:23 pm
if rassie does go….wp must make sure they get a very powerful DOR in his place…..pity Alan Solomons committed to the EP…
This is a helleva nb post…..no lightweights pleASE!
iF pROUDFOOT AND nIENABER WERE TO GO WITH rASSIE WE MUST LOOK FOR gERT sMAL AS A POSSIBLE FORWARDS REPLACEMENT…..NOT SURE ABOUT A NEW DEFENCE COACH….
21 Sep 2010, 16:24 pm
@pompies2(pompies2)-34: I agree in regards to slight improvements will make for much closer contests..
I think the last bledisloe proved that if a team has a 2 or 3 week break in the middle of the campaign it actually affects thir cohesion in the next game..
look, last year I complained about the refs (probably one of the very few kiwis who did), but I gave that up after the 3Ns finished… it seems you cant read a thread here these days without the inference that the only way the ABs won was because of conspiracy and refs favouritism..
one only has to look at Barnes to see it happens to all teams, I cant imagine this site if you guys ever get such a shocking ref in a WC game…
21 Sep 2010, 16:33 pm
@grant10(grant10)-36: It will be a huge loss if Proudfoot and Nienaber leave !! Fortunately, according to the report, ” the possibility of Proudfoot and Nienaber leaving is some way down the road”
21 Sep 2010, 16:35 pm
@poppa69(poppa69)-33: south african coaches have been blaming referees for their losses for a while now, it’s nothing new. Don’t know why you want pdv to be like graham henry when he is peter de villiers
this article is about pdv and not about henry. Robbie Deans in his own way moaned about referees after the first Test.
21 Sep 2010, 16:35 pm
@grant10(grant10)-29: Thank goodness you not the coach then cos John Smit is Legend !!
21 Sep 2010, 16:38 pm
@poppa69(poppa69)-33: Jaa but the boks penalty/card rate was not nearly as high as the ABS. Ag man , in any event its in the past and lets just leave it too that , we don’t need to go through it all again please.
21 Sep 2010, 16:39 pm
@CharlesM(CharlesM)-38: I RECKON IF rASSIE TAKES THE JOB HE WILL TAKE nIENABER WITH HIM…..NOT SURE ABOUT pROUDFOOT AS oS IS THERE….
Sorry caps…
@sparticus(sparticus)-40: A legend yes…..good enough to be a current Bok….?
You gotta be kidding me.
21 Sep 2010, 16:40 pm
@pompies2(pompies2)-30: Ok, you are obviously better at reading between the lines than I am. But here is the bit that confuses me:
When he talks about the no 1 team in the world, who is he referring to? The AB’s, who are officially at the top of the pile and were at the time of this utterance, or the Boks, who, thanks to his coaching, is now no 3 in the world? According to you, he is clear and diplomatic. So, he must then be referring to the AB’s because if not, we have to read between the lines and that would, per definition, make his comments ambiguous. So, if he is talking about the AB’s, how does a conspiracy by officials aimed at the AB’s drag other teams down and make rugby as a spectacle, mediocre? Crumbs, I am more confused now trying to make sense of what he was trying to say.
His rantings are dripping with subjective perceptions – no facts whatsoever. Is he an expert in reading body language? There surely must be channels through which one could, with the facts to back your suspicions, make a case for bias against the Boks.
Come on dude, we are not talking about the coach of the Putsonderwater u/9′s; this is the coach of the Boks. Do you for one moment believe that a man who is completely incapable of uttering anything that resembles intricate knowledge of the game and the demands of it on players, to the media, is capable of communicating such a game plan to his players? I don’t think so
21 Sep 2010, 16:42 pm
@poppa69(poppa69)-37: See…..it still hurts. lol
21 Sep 2010, 16:42 pm
I’d be interested to know how many former coaches Keo is on speaking terms with.
Peter de Villiers must hate him
Jake White is engaged in legal action against him
Rudolf Strauli chased him out of the Bok camp with his tail between his legs
Heyneke Meyer used to stick Keo’s articles against the changeroom walls to get the Bulls players angry enough to run out and thrash the opponents who according to Keo they supposedly stood no chance against due to their “laager mentality” and “backward attitudes”.
Who is left? Alan Solomans? Harry Viljoen?
21 Sep 2010, 16:44 pm
Well there is always @Tacitus(Tacitus)-45: Well there is always Joost !! LOL
21 Sep 2010, 16:46 pm
@grant10(grant10)-42: On current form no cos he needs conditioning , however JS still has alot to offer SA rugby , Being a former frontrower I normally watch the fatties alot in a game to see their contribution and I will never ever forget Os Du Randts Contribution on 2007 , he was awesome in that tournament and he also suffered heavily prior to the WC with fitness.
21 Sep 2010, 16:48 pm
@Tacitus(Tacitus)-45: I said it somewhere before in the thread I think , I feel he has bitten to many times the hands that feeds him. He and he so called open secrets teams of bloggers.
21 Sep 2010, 16:51 pm
@Tacitus(Tacitus)-45: interesting observations – no one in rugger trusts Keo?
21 Sep 2010, 16:56 pm
But os wasent the captain he must lead by xample! Smit must loos wight and get fit or leave!
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