Comedy of errors
21 Sep 2010
Saru bosses will this week review Peter de Villiers’ tenure as Springbok coach. MARK KEOHANE, writing in Business Day Sport Monthly, looks at what they might find.
Go to Google and type in the name of Springbok coach Peter de Villiers. What you find are ramblings and articles and sites dedicated to the man’s quote hall of fame.
I went in search of the rugby talk behind the man: his philosophy and his views of the game. I looked for his reasoning when his team won and rugby talk about why they lost. I looked for reasons to justify why he is a rugby coach and good enough to be the coach of world champions.
I found nothing of substance about Peter de Villiers and rugby.
There is only a list of laughable quotes, compiled by every Neville Nobody of the blogging world, and every leading newspaper in the rugby world.
Victories and defeats define most coaches. Comedy defines De Villiers, whom the Australasian rugby media called part-time coach and full-time comedian.
The Sydney Morning Herald’s chief rugby writer Greg Growden wrote that De Villiers was to rugby what Richard Pryor was to comedy – the word hilarious was used, not the word inspirational.
I wanted to reflect De Villiers’ rugby insights to the defeats and his analysis of the victories of 2009 that followed the losses of 2008 and 2010. What I got were accusations of conspiracy, referee bias and the absolute disbelief that his team ever loses. The more he watches the match tape, he said, the more he doesn’t know how his team lost.
In reflecting on finishing last in the 2010 Tri-Nations, De Villiers said there was nothing wrong with his team selections, his use of substitutions or a defensive system that conceded 22 tries in six Tri-Nations Tests.
He also did not see any reason for concern that the Boks had lost eight of their past 11 Tests to Australia, New Zealand, France and Ireland.
Everything was looking good for a successful defence of the World Cup in New Zealand next year. Instead of rugby talk, this is the internet script on De Villiers the Bok coach.
‘If we want to eye-gouge any Lions we will go down to the bushveld like we do and eye-gouge them there.’
When the British and Irish media asked De Villiers how he could justify eye-gouging, he responded: ‘If we are going on like this, why don’t we go to the nearest ballet shop, get some tutus and get a dancing shop going? There will be no eye-gouging, no tackling, no nothing and we will enjoy it.’
Other quotes, as listed on sarugbyblog.com and several other sites, included: ‘What we try to tell them is when you point your finger into the sky, don’t concentrate on the finger because you’ll miss all the heavenly glory out there. Concentrate on the heavenly glory you can bring and make yourselves so fulfilled.’
When asked to explain a Bok defeat, he responded: ‘There’s little difference between winning and losing, except you feel better after winning.’
When asked to explain his culpability as coach, he went one better than urging his players to look beyond their fingers when pointing to the sky. He said: ‘The same people who threw their robes on the ground when Jesus rode on a donkey were the same people who crowned him and hit him with sticks, and were the same people who said afterwards how we shouldn’t have done that, he’s the son of God. So that’s exactly what we do. You have to look at history as repeating itself. And I’m not saying that I’m God.’
When criticised for a lack of coaching pedigree he retorted: ‘I’m a God-given talent, I’m the best I can ever be. So what you think doesn’t bother me. I know what I am and I don’t give a damn.’
When asked if he would do anything different after losing: ‘I won’t change my style, if I change my style I will change Peter de Villiers, and then I would have to tell God that he made a mistake when he made me.’
When asked what his style was, he said: ‘People say we want to play a Peter de Villiers style of rugby. What the devil is that? Let me explain it to you. There was a time when we were isolated [due to apartheid] but when we came back what we didn’t do was look at where we were strong. Instead we copied the model of the Australians and became more structured. We thought that was the only model available.
‘We just need to add a component to our game. We need players making decisions and playing the situation. It’s been very difficult [to implement this way of thinking]. Players are so used to playing on to each other, it’s a new thing to be making split-second decisions. With this kind of game comes responsibility. I know it’s hard [for the players] because they then have to take responsibility for what they do. But whatever decision they make, I will support the players even though I won’t always agree with that decision. We didn’t say we will [sic] win or lose.
According to De Villiers no team can control winning and losing, but before the Welsh Test in Cardiff earlier this year he rubbished Welsh talk that the Boks were vulnerable because he had not selected several first-choice players. He told the Welsh: ‘We will give them a psychological advantage and we cannot allow that. We’ve read in the papers here that they believe South Africa are ripe for the picking. They’re comparing us with some fruit from a Welsh fruit farm but they need to know that when you pick fruit, it isn’t just apples and pears; there are prickly pears as well. We want to be a prickly pear for them this Saturday.’
In keeping with fruit, this was his response to winning the Tri-Nations in 2009: ‘We are very organised at the moment, we don’t want to become a fruit salad.’
In 2010, however, the Boks were the fruit salad he wanted to avoid, although De Villiers felt there was a referee conspiracy and that the world had turned on his Boks because they were so good.
He said: ‘Speaking to IRB referees boss Paddy O’ Brien is a complete waste of time … People don’t want to see other teams being successful. That is my biggest problem at the moment. We can’t go public about certain things because we don’t have all the evidence, but the body language of certain officials when things went against us in that game made us worry … The officials were so happy when decisions went against us on the day. I am talking about the No 1 rugby team in the world. Shouldn’t they really get the other guys to that level? … Or do they want to break things down so that the game can become mediocre and everyone has a chance to win it? We don’t want to dwell on that point, but if that is the case, then I feel I am wasting my time by talking to them. I will then have to reconsider talking to them.’
De Villiers has consistently remained defiant and never felt the need to be anything but himself, as he put it. ‘I’ve got a job to do.
I think I’m a strong individual, a strong character. I don’t care what people think about me, I don’t care what people say about me. It’s what I think about me and myself – and I love myself a lot.’
But when former All Blacks and New Zealand Maori prop Craig Dowd called him a puppet De Villiers demanded an apology and accused Dowd of being racist.
A year later former Australian hooker Brendan Cannon called De Villiers a clown. The Springboks and De Villiers demanded an apology from Cannon, saying the word ‘clown’ had no place in rugby.
A week later De Villiers, in his column on the official Saru website, wrote that when a Bok coach wins he is superman and when he loses he is a clown.
On beating the All Blacks in 2009 he said: ‘We went wild, wild wild – and some of the guys went wilder than that.’
When commenting on why the Boks lost two consecutive Tests to New Zealand in 2010 he accused the opposition of cheating at the ruck.
‘I do not like to prepare guys to cheat and it seems to me to be the only way forward if you want to be on top of those kind of things, and that’s 70% of our game.’
De Villiers, when he succeeded Jake White, said his philosophy of life was that even the bad days were good days, and in the past three years his belief is that there have only been good days.
When questioned about the good days that came with hardship, he again referred to the Bible. ‘If you see how Joseph got out of the pit and ended up in the palace, but between the pit and the palace there was a moerse lot of kak.’
De Villiers, whether he cares to admit it, is in the pit once again. Just when he thought he had made it to rugby’s palace in 2009, he’s back where he was in 2008, taking a beating from New Zealand and Australia.
He remains undeterred, telling the media, the South African public and his employers that he is on track for the World Cup and he can’t understand the panic.
As one blogger so aptly asked, is De Villiers a misunderstood genius or a clown? To which another blogger so aptly responded: ‘The King is Dead; long live the Clown.’
– This article first appeared in the September issue of Business Day Sport Monthly, which is distributed free with the newspaper on the second last Friday of every month.
174 Comments
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21 Sep 2010, 21:05 pm
Grunted @ 100
I know BP mentioned the draw, but you’re the one whinging about it.
Thing is, if they are too tired to play 3 games in a row, how they fark are they going to win the WC when it takes 7 games?
I suggest you take your own advice and hardenthefuckup
21 Sep 2010, 21:21 pm
Oh pooper
I am starting to wonder, how sheltered is your employment?
Boks had a favorable draw?
That’s a whinge in sheep’s clothing.
Deal with it.
21 Sep 2010, 21:26 pm
@poppa69(poppa69)-101: 7 games is for winners poppa.
1995 was your lads last crack at 7 wins in a wc.
they were so nervous they puked their lungs out.
i say again, 7 games is for wc winners me old chipper.
21 Sep 2010, 21:32 pm
Grunted. And dangerboy
The only favorable draw was in 07.
How’s your team going to cope having to face teams ranked higher then 5th.
Guess you’ll blame the draw then too huh?
As for the spewing, probably induced by the squalid conditions the majority of your population live in.
But glad to see you two have your priorities sorted.
21 Sep 2010, 21:45 pm
@poppa69(poppa69)-104: ah, you mean the draw in nz in 87 was unfavourable?
and if you meet the boks in the semis? is that favourable?
hohoho….i wouldnt be so cocksure if i was you pops.
and now you sink to denigrating the majority of our population just because i mentioned your lads left their guts on the highveld in 1995?
poor show pops, poor show. much like 2007 must have been for you.
21 Sep 2010, 21:45 pm
The squalid conditions most of your population live in.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie that’s a Maori…
21 Sep 2010, 21:51 pm
@gunther(gunther)-106:
no, no gunther, i have it on good authority that nz is heaven.
its only on the highveld that these sensitive types lose their guts.
poppa is just such a sensitive soul.
(psssssssssst……dont mention ze maoris, pops is a maori from eastern europe, a croaori actually)
21 Sep 2010, 21:53 pm
that lovely afrikaans expression, windgat, comes to mind.
21 Sep 2010, 21:55 pm
Ranger. I have no probs if my team meets yours in the semis. I know you guys won’t want that though.
I’m not even concerned about next year until it gets here. Just love the way you saffas refer to the world cup because apart from that you have nothing else huh?
As for the squalid conditions, truth hurt huh? Wasn’t denigrating them, just those that continue to turn a blind eye to it all, like during the apartheid years. The more things change, the more they stay the same. As evidenced on this blog.
As for poor shows, yep just like 2010 has been for your over rated bunch huh?
Doot doot doodle oodle oot doot do do
grunter, showing your true form huh? Knew you couldn’t keep race out of things. Be proud, still showing SAs for what they really are huh??? Bravo.
21 Sep 2010, 21:56 pm
hmm, i see that 23000 people think quotas are a kuk idea and 169 think they are tops.
now what would have been interesting would have been to ask people to voluntarily identify their race.
all sorts of interesting things about the rugby demographics could have been inferred.
21 Sep 2010, 21:59 pm
Poopstain
Black piece of ****?
Ring any bells?
And no I’m not talking about the all black jersey.
Wind your neck in.
By the way in 2007 we beat the boys who beat the boys who beat your boys.
That’s how knockout tourneys work .
Best you learn the rules before next year
21 Sep 2010, 22:01 pm
@poppa69(poppa69)-109: point one: we do not fear your team poppa. in fact we beat them in nz in 2008 and 2009.
point two: we held every trophy possible last year, something your team has NEVER done.
now breath deeply, you sound like you are going to jeff wilson all over your keyboard.
21 Sep 2010, 22:02 pm
Grunter
I’ve never called anyone a black piece of ___? best you get your facts straight doos.
Nice fabrication. Ask trans, he knows what I said. It certainly wasn’t what you proclaim.
Racist scumbag.
21 Sep 2010, 22:05 pm
@gunther(gunther)-111: we actually beat the boys who twice beat the boys who beat their chokers.
and there wasnt a retching all black in sight.
21 Sep 2010, 22:06 pm
ranger
We beat your team at home in 08 and in 2010. Proves nothing. And of the clown keeps his job, will you get past the round robin?
Thing is this year, your trophy cabinet has been developing an ever deeper echo. Man they’ve been flying out of there. How many have you lost this year already 3,4???
21 Sep 2010, 22:08 pm
@poppa69(poppa69)-113: haha, a kiwi who endlessly paints white saffas as evil nazis calling someone on a blog a racist?
poppa, go sleep it off man, you sound like a bit of a tosser.
are you the chap at the braai who gets the glazed look in his eyes and doesnt notice people edging away?
if so, give grant10 and skopsnot a call. they are always looking for birds of a feather
21 Sep 2010, 22:09 pm
Still ranger, no kiwi has ever wanted to puke on the national teams jersey
Unlike in your county aye. I can understand why too after conversing with people like yourself.
21 Sep 2010, 22:12 pm
@poppa69(poppa69)-115: haha, you really need this eh poppa, i mean REALLY need this?
imagine how tightly you will be wound next year?
i suggest you take a break now. get in shape.find a satisfying hobby. because if the unthinkable happens and your lads crash out next year, you wont find many sympathetic voices round here
21 Sep 2010, 22:12 pm
Doos
Your Afrikaans is coming along nicely.
It will help you tremendously with further racist outbursts.
Which are the stuff of legend here.
PS only an ethnic south african can call another south african
21 Sep 2010, 22:14 pm
A racist.
21 Sep 2010, 22:17 pm
@poppa69(poppa69)-117: hmmmm…..they didnt want to puke on the silver fern.
they simply couldnt help themselves.
some said food poinoning. i say they lost their guts (pun intended).
now lighten up poppa. i wouldnt want you getting so upset that the aussies deport you back to heaven (nz).
21 Sep 2010, 22:22 pm
so pops, let me say it again for you (you seem to need it far more than the actual players) Well done NZ for a wonderful 2010!
happy?
but a friendly bit of advice pops: if you enter every discussion with fists swinging then some of that negativity is going to find its way back to you.
like blackknobheads “karma chameleon” in fact and nothing like your “come a come a come a chameleon” (though that did give me a hearty belly chuckle).
i am off now, but next time lets chat about rugby and not whose k n o b is biggest.
okay?
21 Sep 2010, 22:36 pm
Gunther @ 98
a favourable draw, indeed. 2 weeks break prior to their 1st Test in NZ. No matches played within 1 match of another without a Long-haul flight. And ending the tournament with 3 home matches in succession (allowing SARU to manufacture an advantage NO other team has, all at altitude).
The Boks also had a favourable draw in 2009, incl having a travel-advantage over both NZ and Aus, both of whom had to play Tests immediately after long-haul flights.
21 Sep 2010, 22:39 pm
Ok Pantie whatever you say.
The draw always favours the boks.
Whatafuckingmoaner!
Better now?
Now stop crying
21 Sep 2010, 22:50 pm
No, “moaning” would be calling the opposing Captain a “cheat”, the opposing coach “practicing cheating”, “declaring war” on your partners whilst the ink is still drying, alleging an IRB conspiracy pre-RWC, and calling all the refs, systematically, “cheats” whether they be from Ireland/Wales/Engl or – even more laughably – Sth African…..
solely because your team lost.
Moaning, whinging, whining. It all adds up in to being a Sore Loser.
21 Sep 2010, 23:02 pm
Nee fok! Wat nou Tjeetahs?
Storm brews over Basson
8 minutes ago
Gerdie Karstens
Kimberley – The ink has not yet dried on
the Blue Bulls contract of Griquas and
Springbok wing Bjorn Basson and already
there have been major consequences for
the Griqualand West Rugby Union (GWRU).
It is believed that they did not consult
Super 15 partners Free State and the
Griffons in the decision to make Basson
available to the Bulls.
The Cheetahs will now be seeking legal
advice to determine whether the GWRU had
disregarded the policy for the transfer of
Super 14 players that had been signed by
all three provinces.
If that has happened, legal steps may be
taken against Griquas and in an extreme
scenario his contract with the Blue Bulls
may even be voided.
Basson is due to report for duty in Pretoria
on November 1 once he has completed his
Currie Cup duties with Griquas.
Cheetahs managing director Harold Verster
was in a tele-conference with Griquas and
the Griffons on Tuesday morning in which
Basson ’s move was discussed in depth.
The Cheetahs paid 60% of Basson’s Super
14 salary.
“In light of what has happened, the
Cheetahs’ executive committee gave
approval for us to seek legal advice on the
matter, ” said Verster.
“As soon as we have received the
necessary recommendations there will be a
special directors meeting where the
findings, and the consequences thereof,
will be discussed, ” said Verster.
The Cheetahs are currently locked in a legal
battle with the Sharks about the services of
another wing, Lionel Mapoe.
The loss of Basson will be another setback
for the Cheetahs ahead of next year ’s Super
15.
“Bjorn is one of the Cheetahs’ top players.
We are making every attempt to keep our
star players in the region. We have to
protect our interests, ” said Verster.
Griquas chief executive Arni van Rooyen
did not want to comment.
21 Sep 2010, 23:07 pm
Fuckingcheaters
In the initial reslease it was mentioned that the negotiations had been complex due to the cheaters involvelment.
Now they are acting confused.
Bladdy agents.
21 Sep 2010, 23:13 pm
@gunther(gunther)-127: this Verster ballie us coming across as hardegat as hell. He mustn’t be a doos now!
21 Sep 2010, 23:19 pm
Fester seems to be a common sore in the player transfer market.
21 Sep 2010, 23:26 pm
I just don’t know what to make of PDV…last year he made some strange comments but the boks were winning so we condoned it. This year his is still making those same strange comments and the Boks are now losing.
I think there needs to be an honest assessment of his performance by SARU in terms of playing results, coaching and off-field conversations he had with the media. I also think they need to get the views of the players. Find out whether he is really doing any coaching and find out from his two assistants what role are they playing.
They should ask questions about the poor discipline this year. The leaking of tries regularly. The lack of fitness. The lack of coherent game plan. The lineout wobbles. The aging of the team.
After all that is determined they need to ask him how is he going to fix it? What players he wants to use on the EOYT. What are the short term objectives? How will the Bok players be managed during the Super 15 next year? What is he going to do about the overseas based players? How will he get them involved? Does he need specialist defence coaches? Does he need PR help?
All these things must be considered. If he cannot give satisfactory answers to them, I believe he should be sacked and Heyneke Meyer appointed.
I think Meyer will bring a level of intelligence and respect back to the coaching position. With PDV if he talks non-sense to the media, how much non-sense does he speak to the players? Does he tell them one things but expects something else? Do players understand their individual roles in the context of the team game plan?
The ball is in SARU’s court. Please get to the bottom of this mess.
Amen
22 Sep 2010, 12:42 pm
Again, I can’t picture this guy speaking to our players, and them listening and obeying him. He can’t even answer the most simple questions in a coherent, basic manner. One more year and it will be over…
22 Sep 2010, 15:16 pm
Basically in reference to their stint with the Lions, they were “consultants”. In a world of deliverables, consultants seem to have found a loophole. Basically, they promise the world, go in and examine the current setup, make suggestions on how to improve it, and then move on pay cheque in hand to the next willing customer before any assessment can be done on the effectiveness of their previous suggestions.
It’s a thing of beauty that setup.
22 Sep 2010, 15:20 pm
@Transformation(Transformation)-126:
Wonder if Harold paid more than the R5000 he was paying Mapoe?
Cheetahs don’t have their house in order clearly, and to pay any rugby player 5k is a disgrace.
But then, HVerster walked out of the Sharks’ box before the end of the match on Saturday cos they were losing.
Shows his class.
22 Sep 2010, 15:25 pm
So you can’t respond to other’s comments anymore with moderation. Weird. I guess though it’s still okay for skopvanwinkel to racially abuse and carry on… nice one keo
22 Sep 2010, 15:53 pm
I am not really sure of the point of this article, other than to spell out what everyone in South Africa except Snor himself, Hoskins and Skop realise: Peter De Viliers isn’t fit to coach the Boks.
23 Sep 2010, 08:56 am
Your responses are all moderated, but your own opinions are unmoderated? Very strange! People who respond to me to hurl the usual insults and abuse are all going to be gnashing their teeth!
23 Sep 2010, 08:58 am
The way around it is not to press the “respond” arrow but just to type Re#101 (whatever) instead.
23 Sep 2010, 08:58 am
no they wont you k n o b
23 Sep 2010, 09:10 am
No, Tackler, unfortunately that is not the way around it. You see, every time a comment is held for moderation, it still registers that comment number for the person who posted it, but not for the rest of us. So before long, the numbering is completely befok. Nice try, but you can’t always be right.
23 Sep 2010, 12:19 pm
Eish Pooper and Panty took a good Tew style Ben Dover from Grunter and Dangerman…
Sheepshaggers…
23 Sep 2010, 21:48 pm
@Heavens Game(Heavens Game)-140:
Hey, Boy George. I happen to have a lot of time for Gunther – he’s a funny guy and no lack of respect. Its possible to be a huge fan of your team and hate the rivals and their fans without being a ****, dont you know.
You may even have noticed his previous comments about talking about yourself in the 3rd-person revealing ones true character. Told you he was smart.
Sing us another one, Boy George – still awaiting some new material !
23 Sep 2010, 21:52 pm
@Black Panther(Black Panther)-141: scratch your itch, panty…
23 Sep 2010, 21:56 pm
@Heavens Game(Heavens Game)-142:
No need to itch a scratch, I couldnt possibly embarrass your countrymen any more than you already do.
Sing us another one, Boy George !
23 Sep 2010, 21:58 pm
@Black Panther(Black Panther)-143: itch that scratch then
23 Sep 2010, 22:04 pm
People can respect the abs, but HG will never bow down in unquestioned reverence… why, because HG supports a better team… second to none, twice WC winners, team with the best record in a fair tournament (WC) – the Boks…
you kiwi okes can splutter an squeel as much as you like, you can be bitter with revenge – but you will never force HG to revere the abs… HG reveres one team only… the better one… the green and gold – the Boks…
23 Sep 2010, 22:15 pm
For every Pinetree Meades, there is a Frik Du Preez
For every Grant Fox, there is a Henry Honiball
For every Suarez McCaw, there is a Juan Smith
For every Tana Umaga, there is a Danie Gerber
Naah, I am lucky to support the best… The Boks, with a record, heritage and history of great players second to none…
Panty and Poppa can cry over spilt milk… HG doesnt need the abs, HG has got the Boks…
Revenge will never work…
23 Sep 2010, 22:20 pm
@Heavens Game(Heavens Game)-145:
the only thing you truly revere is yourself, Boy George. Too much more of that and we’ll have to call you Stevie Wonder instead.
I think youre a Wonder’ful addition to Keo, no blogger here has mocked his own country so much before. JL1, Charo and BokFan1 must be disappointed tho, suddenly they look like the Good Guys.
23 Sep 2010, 22:23 pm
@Black Panther(Black Panther)-147: Panty, dry your legs… I am honoured you are trying so hard… Chuckles
23 Sep 2010, 22:33 pm
@Black Panther(Black Panther)-147:
“mocked”?
to what refer thee o wakanathan?
must say, your mild chastisement of poppa was good.
hopefully we will see the “old” poppa back tomorrow
23 Sep 2010, 22:35 pm
penty
and co
why on
earth
do you
spend
most
of your
waking hours
on a
south african
blog
when you
clearly
despise
saffas
a psychologist
will probably
tell us
you don’t
fit in
with keewees
either
are you crying
for some
attention
?
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