Waikato’s wonder and woe
29 Sep 2011
JON CARDINELLI writes that his experience of Waikato’s breathtaking natural phenomena and charming culture has been slightly marred by the anal-retentiveness of the New Zealand authorities.
‘Just bad coffee,’ I reply to the policewoman at the roadblock. She examines my licence, gives the campervan a sour glance, and finally fixes me with a mistrustful glare. I haven’t been drinking, so feel within my rights to stare back. A few seconds pass before she takes another disgusted look at the campervan and waves me through.
The police presence, and disconcerting sense that Big Brother is always watching, is claustrophobic. Keep to the puttering 100km speed limit on the national highway. ‘Merge… like a zip!’ the roadsigns advise you at the offramp.
If you’re a pedestrian, don’t you dare cross the road until the traffic lights say so. Forget about ordering a double shot of Jamieson in an Irish pub. New Zealand’s shot measurements are 15ml instead of 25ml, because apparently the general public can’t be trusted to drink responsibly.
A black man in New Zealand is a drug dealer by default. Last Saturday, the Taupo police pulled SABC journalist Vata Ngobeni out of nightclub because they felt he fit the profile. It’s now Thursday and the local authorities still believe that they were right to detain Ngobeni. They said that they were just following protocol.
It was an unforgivable stand alone incident, but one that was consistent with the rigid sense of order in this nanny state. There’s protocol and then there’s common sense. Perhaps there should be more room to exercise the latter.
I’ve found the general population more than amiable and accommodating. Apart from ‘The Shed’ incident and a few other comparatively minor annoyances, my stay in Taupo and my sojourns into the greater Waikato have been outstanding.
For starters, there’s been a greater energy around the Springboks with the open training sessions held at Owen Delany Park well attended by locals and travelling fans alike.
Monday’s session was held in soul-warming sunshine, a welcomed change for the journalists spending icy nights in campervans and tents. The hundreds of fans also seemed to take heart from the weather, as they proceeded to belt out Nkosi Sikelel’ iAfrika while the Boks plodded through their drills.
The Boks have kept themselves busy from an extra-mural perspective, as have the South African journalists. Some have gone out onto Lake Taupo and tried their hand at trout fishing, while others have sought to sample the culture and adventure in the adjacent areas.
After watching the All Blacks beat France at Eden Park, I waved goodbye to self-confessed cityboys Mark Keohane and Ryan Vrede and headed back to Waikato. In the next few days I managed to get to Rotorua for a taste of Maori culture, and the Waitomo Caves for a blackwater rafting adventure some 65m underground.
If you’re going to Te Puia in Rotorua, you may want to skip the daytime tour that gives you a very limited introduction to Maori carving and weaving, as well as a walk around the grounds. The Prince of Wales’ Feathers geyser and mudpools were more remarkable than the centre’s resident kiwi birds. ‘Is it a bird? Is a mammal? No it’s a kiwi bird!’ scream the signs, although I’m not so sure that they weren’t animatronic robots. It was so dark inside their housing structure that it was impossible to be certain.
The evening’s activities at Te Puia are far more illuminating. Our guide introduced us to his family before taking us into his pa and treating us to some more Maori storytelling through the traditional media of dance and song. The performance climaxed in a powerful and elaborate rendition of the Ka Mate haka, and thereafter members of the audience were invited to climb on stage and be part of New Zealand’s famous war dance.
And yes, like many of the European kooks, I made the local tribesmen and women laugh out loud with my arrhythmic ground stomping and chest slapping. The key is to loll and roll; sticking your tongue out at every opportunity and turning your eyes to the back of your head. That earns you maximum respect.
The trip to the Waitomo Caves was a completely different experience. It may be spring in New Zealand, and it can be beautiful when the sun is shining and the sky is clear, but it’s still very cool in terms of temperature.
Launching yourself backwards over waterfalls and floating down an icy cold river deep beneath the earth’s surface may not seem like a good idea, but having come out the other side, I’ll have to admit that the hypothermia is a small price to pay.
‘Trust me,’ the guide says, as I stand with my back to the drop and my arse in a rubber tube. The drop is only about six feet, but hurling yourself backwards into the icy unknown takes some getting used to.
Once the entire group had taken the ‘leap’, the torches were turned off and the guides proceeded to thump at the water. We were instructed to look up at the roof of the cave, where thousands of glowworms, disturbed by the noise, began to move in illuminating arcs. Later the guides would tell us that while we were looking up, scores of cave eels were swimming just inches below.
I’ve been clocking up the kilometres in our campervan Heinrich (fetches, carries and gives away relatively few penalties) in the last week. As I mentioned earlier, travelling along the New Zealand roads can be a hairy ordeal. The further you venture from the national highway, the more the narrow road snakes and winds through the hilly terrain.
If you’re going to do New Zealand by car, be prepared to go slow. The margin for error is mercilessly small, which is probably why Kiwi drivers are so conservative.
The big advantage of traversing the north island by road is that you get to see the picturesque countryside and many of the quaint farm towns. It’s not hard to see why Peter Jackson chose Waikato as the setting for the tranquil Shire in his Lord of the Rings epic.
It’s clear that many of the small towns have beefed up their roadside advertising for the World Cup. En route to the Waitomo Caves, I drove through a run down part of the world called Benneydale, which has changed its name to Rugbydale for the months of September and October.
Te Kuiti has also changed to Meadsville, and the roadside barkers urge you to stop on the main street and chat to legendary All Black and local hero Colin Meads over a cup of coffee. If that isn’t enough to force your foot onto the brake, the barkers will confirm that this is ‘The Sheepshearing Capital of the World!’
Could you resist?
48 Comments
29 Sep 2011, 00:38 am
1995, 2007, 2011.
29 Sep 2011, 00:39 am
I don’t know which of many comments in that post is funniest.
29 Sep 2011, 00:50 am
I did the Waitomo caves floating down on the tubes watching the gloworms 2 weeks ago and have to say the entire experience was phenominal. The water was only 7 degrees celcius but it all adds to the thrill. The Rotorua downhill luge is something special. Some crazy ******** hurling themselevs down those hills the day we were there.
29 Sep 2011, 00:51 am
@Yetirat(Yetirat)-3: ******** = D u t c h m a n
29 Sep 2011, 00:59 am
nice one JC, just brush off the pestering cops & enjoy yourself…
29 Sep 2011, 01:04 am
Hamilton is, of course, the university-town capital of Waikato.
29 Sep 2011, 01:05 am
what price does a life have these days JC – maybe some applause for the effort NZ police puts into reducing alcohol-induced road deaths of loved ones eh?
29 Sep 2011, 01:36 am
@TheTackler(TheTackler)-6:
Rotorua – Sulpher city
Auckland – City of Sails
Wellington – Absolutely positively Wellington
Christchurch – The garden city
Hamilton – It’s in the way to somewhere else
29 Sep 2011, 01:42 am
@Yetirat(Yetirat)-3: The Rotorua luge is reputed to be the single biggest cause of accident insurance claims in NZ. There is a medical clinic just across the road from the luge that specialises in the use of a stiff brush to get the gravel out of the skin of the many people who come off the luge at pace….
It is insanely good fun, but it could only happen in a country that has outlawed personal injury law suits and instead provided state fundin accident insurance
29 Sep 2011, 01:53 am
For you guys who havent been to NZ, def go to Rotorua, besides the smell, which you’ll get used too, it has heaps of cool things to do and see and the people are really easy going and laid back.
29 Sep 2011, 02:21 am
@Maori_Fulla(Maori_Fulla)-10:
Yup, Rotorua is a blast.
Anybody that has driven through Wellington South Africa a few times won’t mind going to Rotorua. It stinks really bad, but much more entertaining then any other NZ cities (the area around Rotorua etc.)
29 Sep 2011, 02:26 am
JC,
Cops are doing their jobs on the road. In New Zealand they aim to have no deaths over long weekends, compared to South Africa who tries to keep the number in the 2-figure range.
Inappropriate what happened to that journalist in Taupo, but end of the day they were doing their job effectively. To take someone in amounts to being arrested, and if they had no evidence that he had done anything, then he shouldn’t have been made to go anywhere. But I prefer stupid cops over corrupt cops any day
29 Sep 2011, 02:28 am
@Maori_Fulla(Maori_Fulla)-10: Shh, do we really want them in BOP?
29 Sep 2011, 02:45 am
the search is blown out of proportion – totally unfair to pin the cops, they only acted on a comments from member of public. Maybe the member of public should be hung…but who says he/ she was Kiwi?
Racism is everywhere including NZ (we are certainly ahead of many many other countries, but I have no doubt the Journo blew it out of proportion for the sensationalism.
Kiwi cops are very very quiet when going about their duties. They would’ve known fairly quickly the Journo was genuine, but unfortunately they are bound by protocol to follow up information from the public. Had they let the issue go and he was a dealer – their jobs are on the line and police are slammed by media.
29 Sep 2011, 03:55 am
…..ha ha losers defending the police. When the global fascist police state is fully rolled out…well, you’ll have to say nice things then ne
29 Sep 2011, 04:01 am
@corporal punishment(corporal punishment)-9:
I took an entire layer of skin from my forearm OFF using it as a brake when I came off the luge.
It was so painful and bloody that it nearly put me off going straight back to the top and doing it all again.
NEARLY
what a ride !
29 Sep 2011, 04:11 am
I have absolutely NO idea what the cops are like in SA, with whom JC must surely be comparing the authorities in NZ
but
if these were his eg’s of “@nal-retentiveness”
I mean, rrrrrREALLY ?!
then perhaps a few hours in the company of the Queensland constabulary might be beneficial to his future journalism career. A little ‘context’ wouldnt go astray.
Seri@rsely, having dealt with the Old Bill here, professionally, for 8yrs in my former life, then I can assure him that the vast % of cops here are non-intrusive on everything other than gang culture and drink/drug driving. And for those, they have my full support as a citizen. The SA ‘druggy’-journo incident was unfortunate, but also understandable given it was a complaint from a member of the public that the cops are duty-bound to act on.
Other than that, well done JC for putting a positive spin on all your tourism activities. Its lovely countryside, fer sure.
29 Sep 2011, 05:28 am
Sounds to me like JC is pis#ed cause Keo got him to slum it in a campervan for a month whilst all the other upstanding journos were put up in local hotels. Probably just how Keo treats all his staff.
As for following rules and obeying the laws of the land – yes, that is tough when you come from a country like SA where it is optional. I know having emigrated to Canada where police actually enforce the law. It is a tough life living in a first world country!
29 Sep 2011, 05:33 am
Any tips / suggestions on what to do in the Martinbourgh area (1hr North of Wellington)? We are going to be based there from Sat. Wine tasting here we come!
29 Sep 2011, 05:36 am
@Black Panther(Black Panther)-17: Yeah JC is definitely comparing things to SA where the cops are underpaid and over-worked, plus they have bigger fish to fry; they don’t have a big amount of resource to allocate towards stop and search’s etc.
I’ve been to all 3 countries and Oz is by far the worst of the lot – complete nanny state! They have these “drinking police” that come into the bars at night to make sure you’re not “too drunk”. It just creates such a bad vibe that everyone just wants to leave and the barman start getting all cagey about who they’ll serve. Regularly, I’ve been sat watching some rugby in the early evening (6 ish or so) at our local bar and 6 police will walk in with 4 sniffer dogs….and that’s a routine check!
29 Sep 2011, 05:41 am
Yep, this makes sense. Complain about the ineptitude of the police force in a country which does not have the problem of 55 murders a day and 50 000 rapes a year! I think the last thing any South African should be doing is finding fault in the legal systems and authorities in NZ. Welcome to NZ, a functioning first world country where people respect the law because they know its still enforced.
Enjoy your stay.
29 Sep 2011, 05:57 am
@Brads(Brads)-8:
29 Sep 2011, 06:05 am
JC you would have a better time if you did not look like a peeping tom.
29 Sep 2011, 06:14 am
@Yetirat(Yetirat)-20:
Dont even get me started on Aussie cops – I find it hard to split the over-aggressive Forces of NSW and Queensland, have seen and experienced so many instances of over heavy-handedness & corruption that its nothing less than a long and hearty
*chortle*
and no little
~guffaw~
at what JC regards as “@nal-retentiveness’.
29 Sep 2011, 06:15 am
@Olivergm(Olivergm)-19:
drinking
and
erm
eating
lovely nearby countryside tho
29 Sep 2011, 06:45 am
15 Ml shots …..Pansies.
29 Sep 2011, 07:15 am
It is my opinion that the South African had absolutely no need to play the race card. It’s not as if the police came charging in with batons screaming racial obscenities at the top of their lungs.
Too bad that he felt “targeted”… if the description given to police was “white man, blonde dreads and wearing boardshorts”, there’s nothing racial about it – simply describing what the person looks like.
NZP were perfectly within their rights to act on the information received from the public and in my dealings with them, I have found them to be respectful, polite, competent and quite human.
It’s no use comparing them to the police of South Africa, the two police forces are too different. One simply has to look at the Roll of Honour for the NZP and SAP(S).
29 Sep 2011, 07:17 am
In conclusion, neither country’s policing model would be applicable in the other’s country.
29 Sep 2011, 07:32 am
Jon you are talking k@k as per usual.
There is no 6 foot(2m) drop from the jetty where you jump into the water.
It is 1,3m at most on a good day,I did it myself.
As for icy water they give you a wetsuit to wear so just man up.
If you are into the 6 foot thing go and sledge the Ruakiri,there is a 6 foot waterfall you go over.
Don’t think you will ma up for that trip though.
Rotovegas is very nice and going zorbing was real fun aswell.
Weather is very tricky and can change in a instant.
If anyone can I suggest a 5 day seakayak trip in the Abel Tasman Park,starting at Split Apple Rock and going as far as Shag Harbour as you can.
Terrific trip,will do it again next year if all goes well.
29 Sep 2011, 07:46 am
@Fern is not a stud,he is merely no19(Fern)-29:
are you getting treatment for both your personalities, Fornicator ?
29 Sep 2011, 07:50 am
@Black Panther(Black Panther)-30:
So you wana tell me the Abel Tasman trip isnt good and sledging the Ruakirir isnt exciting?
Have you done them?
29 Sep 2011, 07:57 am
@Fern is not a stud,he is merely no19(Fern)-31:
that depends which Fornicator Im speaking to.
No and Yes.
1 for each of you.
29 Sep 2011, 08:01 am
So have you done those trips?
There is a 9 hour trip in the Waitomo caves that I actually want to do next year,includes abseiling and some other stuff.
29 Sep 2011, 08:14 am
kiwiland sounds really nice.
29 Sep 2011, 08:24 am
Nice as a holiday destination but I could not stay there.
29 Sep 2011, 08:25 am
Nice as a holiday but I could not stay there.
29 Sep 2011, 08:38 am
8 people died on NZ roads last year during the Christmas holidays. Maybe they are doing something right.
29 Sep 2011, 08:40 am
Garth they have less people and no minibus taxi’s which helps a lot.
29 Sep 2011, 08:41 am
Garth they have less people and no minibus taxi’s which helps a lot I believe
29 Sep 2011, 08:51 am
@Fern is not a stud,he is merely no19(Fern)-35:
yes, thats what i mean.
for a nature lovers holiday destination it would be great.
although i do like africa and the sense of danger that comes with a drive up the zambezi. seen a few idiot germans almost get taken by crocs once or twice and you wont get that in middle earth.
29 Sep 2011, 08:51 am
The speed limits are also slower, rules of the roads are obeyed, drunken driving is dealt with seriously and you don’t have a mad rush to get anywhere. A huge amount of effort goes into keeping the road deaths to a minimum.
29 Sep 2011, 08:56 am
It is tame there,no thorns or snakes.Walked around in the Abel Tasman for 5 days kaalvoet,people in our group thought I was strange.Nothing like a rinkhals standing up 2 days after you are back at work and in the field.His tongue was flicking and he was saying “Welcome back in Africa”.
29 Sep 2011, 09:01 am
That’s one of the best things about the bush here, no little creatures you need to be careful of.
29 Sep 2011, 09:15 am
@Fern is not a stud,he is merely no19(Fern)-42:
29 Sep 2011, 09:24 am
That makes it boring,also your lack of wildlife.Come to Africa.I know of a varsity hostel that had a crocodile as their pet mascot.It got bigger and started to bite people to badly so he was released back into the wild:-)
29 Sep 2011, 11:08 am
@Olivergm(Olivergm)-19:
yes Martinborough is great for wine!!!!
Visit the cape palliser lighthouse and seal colony
Do the blue creek farm quadbiking @ http://www.wairarapaquads.co.nz a little bit of expense but great fun! also has a shooting option.
Sky diving in Masterton is top top top of the list…grow some balls you will not regret it at all !!! Beautiful views and a lifetime memory
29 Sep 2011, 11:36 am
The hypocrisy of these lillywhite journos going on and on about “profiling” is beginning to pissme off highly…
South Africa has a policy of BEE or Black Economic Empowerment yet these fcks will scream and shout about BDD or Black Drug Dealer identification.
These ffckers will also write about quotas which by their definition distinguished by melanin deficiency, yet will have a problem with suspected crime identified by phenotype.
Good, pleasant article but you a farken hypocrite, author.
29 Sep 2011, 18:21 pm
JC whining and dining his way around NZ I see.
Perhaps the cops mistook him for trailor trash driving a campervan?
Perhaps he was peed off becuase there was no view of Table Hill available?
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