Goodbye to the minnows; hello to the madness
3 Oct 2011
MARK KEOHANE, in Business Day Newspaper, writes if drama’s your game, don’t go anywhere in the next three weekends.
After 48 of the most dramatic hours ever experienced at a Rugby World Cup, we finally have a competition that demands that you don’t go anywhere for the next three weekends. Goodbye to the minnows and hello to the madness of knockout rugby.
Typically, France gave us an appetiser of the madness of which they are capable. Their players simply did not pitch for a pool match they could afford to lose (and still qualify for the last eight) in protest over their fractious relationship with coach Marc Lievremont. They lost to Tonga. Lievremont said he was ashamed of the performance and admitted the players refused to engage in a bonding session.
New Zealand rugby royalty Dan Carter tore his groin muscle in a kicking drill on Saturday afternoon and the mood among locals was sombre and more applicable to when a nation mourns a popular head of state. If you happen to have been on a space shuttle, Carter, the game’s most complete flyhalf and New Zealand’s master conductor, is out of the World Cup. It is New Zealand’s worst rugby nightmare and there may now not even be an occasion for these men in black to choke.
With Carter at No10 they led the World Cup pack. Without him the All Blacks are just one of the championship-chasing pack. They would get past the Pumas even if Carter’s grandmother was at flyhalf, but getting beyond the semifinals will need a flyhalf more capable than his understudy, Colin Slade.
The All Blacks, with Carter gone and Richie McCaw on one leg, are officially in another World Cup crisis. At least they can take comfort that next year they will be unbeatable again and Carter won’t get one injury.
Some things are meant to be. The All Blacks have a World Cup curse and England a World Cup Fairy Godmother. New Zealand just can’t seem to keep it together or get it together.
England can do as they please, play as they please and pick as many plodders as they please. They’ve tossed a few dwarfs around in Dunedin, gone on the piss, admitted to switching match balls to give their struggling goal-kicking ace Jonny Wilkinson an advantage, and coach Martin Johnson acknowledged reprimanding three players who lured a hotel worker to their rooms and made suggestive comments about wanting oral sex. The only thing the England players and coaching staff have not admitted to is playing turgid rugby.
The International Rugby Board (IRB) sanction has been a “don’t do it again … now get on and win this bloody thing for us old farts in the Northern Hemisphere” before turning its full attention to the hideous crime of a Samoan player wearing a gum guard that contravened official tournament sponsorship rules.
The offence was deemed so serious that the team was fined NZ$10000, and worse was to follow for the Samoans after controversial centre Eliota Fuimaono Sapolu called Welsh referee Nigel Owens a prick, a racist and an elitist who favoured the Springboks in Samoa’s 13-5 defeat.
Sapolu tweeted that he would love to meet IRB members on the street and said the game’s administration was protecting the big five and the wealthy. He also confirmed his retirement from international rugby, arguing there was no point to it if you were a tier-two nation.
The IRB have confirmed a hearing. Toss around a dwarf and illegally switch match balls during play, but just don’t call the IRB an elite organisation.
When Samoa and Fiji played at Eden Park a fortnight ago they smashed each other for 80 minutes, then gathered in prayer as a band of Pacific Island brothers. On Friday night after the most brutal of matches against the Boks there was nothing more than a grudging Samoan handshake.
The Samoan captain spoke of referee bias and Bok captain Victor Matfield expressed disgust at the Samoan off-the- ball thuggery.
Frans Steyn, colossal all tournament, legally smashed into Samoans all night but his shoulder proved more brittle than brutal and he’s out of the World Cup.
Scotland, needing to beat England by eight points, led 12-3 in the second half before losing 16-12 to Chris Ashton’s 78th- minute match-winning try.
Wilkinson missed his first three penalty attempts and missed a left-footed drop goal from right in front. Madness.
And for 55 minutes Georgia led Argentina 7-5. Not quite madness, but a contender.
The Canadians even led the All Blacks 3-0 for three minutes. Definite madness.
What more, asked everyone? Surely an Italian win against Ireland to seal the most dramatic conclusion to the 40- match round robin stage.
Come on Italy, screamed every South African. Say what they may publicly, the Boks would much have preferred the Irish as quarterfinal opponents.
It was not to be. Instead they have the Tri-Nations champions Australia to beat to make it to Eden Park for the first time in this tournament.
If you are planning on going anywhere on Sunday, pick a church to offer thanks or for a World Cup mourning.
I’d suggest it is safer just not going anywhere. The 2011 Rugby World Cup is officially open.
397 Comments
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3 Oct 2011, 13:10 pm
business end dragons
3 Oct 2011, 13:16 pm
Nice article.
Especially liked the bit about England. I believe the England players represent your average Englishman, just like the SA players represent your average South African.
And when you compare the basically decent, mostly married, family man type that is the average SA player to the mostly degenerate, womanizing, hard partying Englishman then the contrast is stark indeed.
Good vs evil. No question about it.
3 Oct 2011, 13:20 pm
@Tacitus(Deucalion)-2: your kind words are indeed noted. And thank you. Was a brilliant weekend of rugby, drama an chaos … the things you want at a global sporting event.
Now for the big boys to play the big boys.
3 Oct 2011, 13:22 pm
after all your hard work keo and still you couldn’t get the blacks over the hump hehe.
boks to take it, ugly yes, but take it we damned well will…
3 Oct 2011, 13:30 pm
Most disappointing game in the whole tournament so far was watching the Scots go down to the Plms.
I was truly upset. More so than I thought I would be.
Says alot for how much hate I have for the poms.
Oh well, let the real games begin. Bring it.
3 Oct 2011, 13:31 pm
@John Galt(John Galt)-5:
Plms?! Poms.
3 Oct 2011, 13:35 pm
This year’s final is going to be such an anti climax. Like Federer, Nadal and Djocovic knocking each other out and the survivor ending up facing Andy Murray in the final.
Its just not right.
3 Oct 2011, 13:35 pm
I am quite disappointed that Carter is out of the WC to be honest.
Seems like a bit of an injustice and the WC would have been a better spectacle with the worlds premier fly half still playing.
3 Oct 2011, 13:37 pm
@Tacitus(Deucalion)-7:
Hehe. Great analogy.
3 Oct 2011, 13:39 pm
@John Galt(John Galt)-8: ja, and fransie steyn and juan smith.
this is the first wc that has seen so many calamitous injuries imo.
3 Oct 2011, 13:41 pm
@Tacitus(Deucalion)-7:
Let’s hope we’re in it!
3 Oct 2011, 13:43 pm
WP
Reckon we have a 60% chance against Aus and with Carter out a 50% chance against All Blacks. And a 100% chance against whichever Northern Hemisphere team will be playing in the final.
3 Oct 2011, 13:50 pm
@keo(keo)-3: any news on the foot of McCheat? Will it hold or will it fold … if he is out or hobbles off early then your tournament favourites have had it.
Get Marshalls to put good odds on a kiwi QF choke … there is money to be made.
3 Oct 2011, 13:54 pm
It’s all a conspiracy!!! It’s all about money for the IRB. A coincidence that it WILL be a North vs. South final? I DON’T THINK SO! And who’s to blame for this coincidence? Australia’s loss against Ireland…ah, then I’m probably wrong, because the Aussies will never fix matches…haha
3 Oct 2011, 13:56 pm
@Tacitus(Deucalion)-12:
Sounds about right.
I imagine with Frans Steyn out we’ll see Butch James at inside centre in keeping with the idea of shoring up that channel with a big bruising defender. His tactical kicking boot will also give him the nod ahead of Jean de Villiers, in my opinion.
Given our new winger injury crisis after our match against the Samoan headhunters, I imagine Jean de Villiers or Gio Aplon might get a start.
Backline against the Aussies could be:
9) Fourie du Preez
10) Morne Steyn
11) Gio Aplon
12) Butch James
13) Jaque Fourie
14) Odwa Ndungane
15) Pat Lambie
With on the bench for backline cover, Ruan Pienaar and Juan de Jongh.
I really hope Francois Hougaard recovers from his concussion, special little player, but IRB regulations regarding Graduated Return to Play for concussion might prevent him playing in the quarters.
3 Oct 2011, 13:58 pm
RL
You are mistaken. Keo’s tournament favourites have a burglar playing at 10. And I don’t mean figuratively. I’m talking a real life, fence scaling, window breaking tatoo covered laptop grabber.
And they hero worship him. Says it all, really.
3 Oct 2011, 13:59 pm
@Tacitus(Deucalion)-16:
I believe Master Katman said it best: “Quade can no longer sell a dummy because everyone thinks it might be stolen.”
3 Oct 2011, 14:00 pm
@WP:
Backline against the Aussies I’ll say:
9) Fourie du Preez
10) Morne Steyn
11) Gio Aplon
12) Butch James
13) Jaque Fourie
14) Jean De Villiers
Bench: R. Pienaar & J. De Jongh
15) Pat Lambie
3 Oct 2011, 14:03 pm
With Jean on 14 and Butch on 12 you have brilliant options from a ruck or scrum in the middle of the field…
3 Oct 2011, 14:04 pm
Hougaard a better choice at wing than De Villiers surely?
3 Oct 2011, 14:05 pm
@Tacitus(Deucalion)-20: Yes, if he’s fit to play.
3 Oct 2011, 14:06 pm
He has already confirmed via twitter that he’s fine.
3 Oct 2011, 14:07 pm
@WP Till I Die(WP-Forever)-15:
but butcher looked nowhere at 12 vs the welsh?
3 Oct 2011, 14:07 pm
@Tacitus(Deucalion)-20: Then he’s a better choice than anyone in any number from 9 – 15
3 Oct 2011, 14:08 pm
@Tacitus(Deucalion)-22: I thaught he was fine after the incident on the field as well
Let’s hope the IRB allows it.
3 Oct 2011, 14:09 pm
@Tacitus(Deucalion)-7:
you could have said the same about the last one?…
3 Oct 2011, 14:09 pm
@Double Edge(Double Edge)-25: Not I, He
3 Oct 2011, 14:10 pm
Keo’s done it again, it there ever was an opportunity to write something positive about the Boks chances this was it – Carter out, McCaw injured, Wobblies wobbling and the Poms and Frogs looking like they are at the wrong world cup. Instead we get some drivel about a host of periperal issues and the old news of FS’s shoulder injury (what did you expect after the Samoa game a Southern Hemisphere team hug to send the Boks on their merry way?) . Can’t wait for the quarter final build up from Keo which is likely to comprise of more ex Aussies players telling us why the Boks cannot win.
3 Oct 2011, 14:11 pm
@Tacitus(Deucalion)-20:
I believe Hougaard will not be allowed to play even if he has recovered from concussion in terms of the new (as of June 2011) IRB GRTP (Graduated Return to Play) protocols.
They take concussion or even suspected concussion extremely seriously now.
Under perfect circumstances the GRTP protocols calls for five full days from injury until the player is cleared to play. However, the player will only be allowed a full-contact practice session on the fourth day.
However, the player must be completely symptom-free in between these stages.
If any symptoms of concussion are diagnosed, it goes back to the beginning of the protocol.
That being said, Will Genia suffered concussion earlier in the Tri-Nations but was still played despite the GRTP protocols, so maybe the IRB does not have the will to enforce them, despite their lip service?
3 Oct 2011, 14:12 pm
@Tacitus(Deucalion)-22:
See my post 29. It’s one thing to say so via Twitter, another thing to be following the IRB guidelines on concussion and suspected concussion.
3 Oct 2011, 14:14 pm
@WP Till I Die(WP-Forever)-30: What I tried to say. He might think so, the people who count, might not.
3 Oct 2011, 14:17 pm
@Double Edge(Double Edge)-31:
It would be a pity, but concussion’s a nasty business, I should know. I had to stop playing rugby when I had four concussions in one year.
Such a pity that two of our best players thus far at this tournament are (in the case of Frans Steyn) out or (in the case of Hougaard) doubtful for the quarter-final.
3 Oct 2011, 14:20 pm
Option 1: Without Habana & JPP(which is unlikey-they WILL recover)
1.Guthro 2.Smit 3.JdP 4.Bakkies 5.Matfield 6.Brussow 7.Burger 8.Spies
9.Du Preez 10.Steyn 11.Hougaard 12.JdV 13.Fourie 14.Aplon 15.Lambie
16.Bismark 17.Beast 18.CJ 19.Danie 20.Alberts 21.Butch 22.De Jongh
Option 2: WITH Habana & JPP
1.Guthro 2.Smit 3.JdP 4.Bakkies 5.Matfield 6.Brussow 7.Burger 8.Spies
9.Du Preez 10.Steyn 11.Habana 12.JdV 13.Fourie 14.JPP 15.Lambie
16.Bismark 17.Beast 18.CJ 19.Danie 20.Alberts 21.Hougaard 22.De Jongh
3 Oct 2011, 14:23 pm
Hougaard went off for blood, not with concussion.
Our own Doc will check him out and Bob’s your uncle.
3 Oct 2011, 14:23 pm
@WP Till I Die(WP-Forever)-29:
Hougaard will play.
3 Oct 2011, 14:26 pm
@Tacitus(Deucalion)-34:
I do hope so!
3 Oct 2011, 14:26 pm
So will Carter be this year’s excuse for the All Blacks? What was all the excuses in previous World Cup’s again?
1991 –
1995 – Suzie
1999 – Sacre Blue
2003 –
2007 – Sacre Blue (the sequel)
2011 – Carter injury (If it wasn’t for Carters’ injury, we would’ve won)
3 Oct 2011, 14:29 pm
Keo.
“Goodbye to the minnows;”
And what glorious minnows they were:
- Georgia.
- Tonga.
- Japan.
Best entertainers of the Cup.
3 Oct 2011, 14:29 pm
team i would have liked to see: I KNOW IT WONT HAPPEN
1.Guthro 2.Bismark 3.JdP 4.Bakkies 5.Matfield(c) 6.Brussow 7.Burger 8.Alberts
9.Du Preez 10.Morne 11.Habana 12.de Jongh 13.Fourie 14.JPP 15.Aplon
16.Rallapelle 17.Beast 18.CJ 19.Danie 20.Spies 21.Hougaard 22.Lambie
3 Oct 2011, 14:34 pm
@mshiniwami(mshiniwami)-39:
Can you imagine if Andries Bekker and Juan Smith were fit?
3 Oct 2011, 14:35 pm
@mshiniwami(mshiniwami)-39:
Close to the slowest loose trio in the competition, that.
3 Oct 2011, 14:35 pm
Keo good article mate. I can’t wait for the quarters, Ireland vs wales (going for wales by 10), and the highlight of the weekend boks vs wallabies (I’m too scared to call the winner on this guy, this will have everything a bakkies Botha headbutt, Australian/Samoan slaps from quade Cooper, it’ll be brutal!
Sinilindele magwalandini!!!!
3 Oct 2011, 14:41 pm
I would give a lot for a Joggie Jansen 40m run-up flying tackle on Quade Cooper in mid-goose step, leaving only an empty pair of smoking neon coloured boots where the no.10 used to be, with barefoot figure in canary yellow colours being carried of the field on a stretcher in the background.
3 Oct 2011, 14:45 pm
Samoan centre so stupid. First he threatens them by saying he’d love to meet them on the street – if anything criminal charges should be laid. And then he retires from international rugby. What a great service he’s done his country by walking out on them.
Also doesn’t realise that this will harm his chances of signing future contracts in Europe, and that he’ll in all likelihood be banned from there competitions as well.
3 Oct 2011, 14:45 pm
@mpundulu(mpundulu)-42: ulinde nabani, slade? bwahahahahahahaha
engasabhatyazi la-Colin Salad.
in the township they call colin slade, colin salad
3 Oct 2011, 14:51 pm
@Transformation(Transformation)-45:
Enjoyed that Supersport add where the two Xhosa commentators make the guy watering his garden sound like he’s busy with an extreme adrenalin type sport. Had a good chuckle.
3 Oct 2011, 15:01 pm
@Transformation(Transformation)-45: Bwaaaaaaah, andisoze ndime no slade lasaladi! Kwedini ndama no Joe rococoko, tana umaga, Lomu, no Carter ekapa kwi after match drinks.
uSlade uzasinyisa, udladle izambani ngecawe maaaan, ndicela uba babuyise uNick Evans asseblief. Mna bendineshori uba le ndebe ye hlabati yeyethu clean.
3 Oct 2011, 15:05 pm
@Tacitus(Deucalion)-46: I always listen to their commentary, they are hilarious!!! They have a cult following, and what makes absolute gems is that they have standard lines that everyone knows and are killer.
3 Oct 2011, 15:10 pm
@Tacitus(Deucalion)-43: After reading your post, I youtubed “Joggie Jansen tackle”…. Here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gs5tc_xFvY
Fark me, Cooper would be feathers after that.
3 Oct 2011, 15:11 pm
@mpundulu(mpundulu)-47:
Ehweh.
Snor pambeni.
Carter andikwaz baleka, hamba ihospital
Smit mafuta kakulu
Habana madala. Diniwe. Andikwaz baleka kauleza.
Deeck Muir mampara.
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