Goodbye to the minnows; hello to the madness
3 Oct 2011
MARK KEOHANE, in Business Day Newspaper, writes if drama’s your game, don’t go anywhere in the next three weekends.
After 48 of the most dramatic hours ever experienced at a Rugby World Cup, we finally have a competition that demands that you don’t go anywhere for the next three weekends. Goodbye to the minnows and hello to the madness of knockout rugby.
Typically, France gave us an appetiser of the madness of which they are capable. Their players simply did not pitch for a pool match they could afford to lose (and still qualify for the last eight) in protest over their fractious relationship with coach Marc Lievremont. They lost to Tonga. Lievremont said he was ashamed of the performance and admitted the players refused to engage in a bonding session.
New Zealand rugby royalty Dan Carter tore his groin muscle in a kicking drill on Saturday afternoon and the mood among locals was sombre and more applicable to when a nation mourns a popular head of state. If you happen to have been on a space shuttle, Carter, the game’s most complete flyhalf and New Zealand’s master conductor, is out of the World Cup. It is New Zealand’s worst rugby nightmare and there may now not even be an occasion for these men in black to choke.
With Carter at No10 they led the World Cup pack. Without him the All Blacks are just one of the championship-chasing pack. They would get past the Pumas even if Carter’s grandmother was at flyhalf, but getting beyond the semifinals will need a flyhalf more capable than his understudy, Colin Slade.
The All Blacks, with Carter gone and Richie McCaw on one leg, are officially in another World Cup crisis. At least they can take comfort that next year they will be unbeatable again and Carter won’t get one injury.
Some things are meant to be. The All Blacks have a World Cup curse and England a World Cup Fairy Godmother. New Zealand just can’t seem to keep it together or get it together.
England can do as they please, play as they please and pick as many plodders as they please. They’ve tossed a few dwarfs around in Dunedin, gone on the piss, admitted to switching match balls to give their struggling goal-kicking ace Jonny Wilkinson an advantage, and coach Martin Johnson acknowledged reprimanding three players who lured a hotel worker to their rooms and made suggestive comments about wanting oral sex. The only thing the England players and coaching staff have not admitted to is playing turgid rugby.
The International Rugby Board (IRB) sanction has been a “don’t do it again … now get on and win this bloody thing for us old farts in the Northern Hemisphere” before turning its full attention to the hideous crime of a Samoan player wearing a gum guard that contravened official tournament sponsorship rules.
The offence was deemed so serious that the team was fined NZ$10000, and worse was to follow for the Samoans after controversial centre Eliota Fuimaono Sapolu called Welsh referee Nigel Owens a prick, a racist and an elitist who favoured the Springboks in Samoa’s 13-5 defeat.
Sapolu tweeted that he would love to meet IRB members on the street and said the game’s administration was protecting the big five and the wealthy. He also confirmed his retirement from international rugby, arguing there was no point to it if you were a tier-two nation.
The IRB have confirmed a hearing. Toss around a dwarf and illegally switch match balls during play, but just don’t call the IRB an elite organisation.
When Samoa and Fiji played at Eden Park a fortnight ago they smashed each other for 80 minutes, then gathered in prayer as a band of Pacific Island brothers. On Friday night after the most brutal of matches against the Boks there was nothing more than a grudging Samoan handshake.
The Samoan captain spoke of referee bias and Bok captain Victor Matfield expressed disgust at the Samoan off-the- ball thuggery.
Frans Steyn, colossal all tournament, legally smashed into Samoans all night but his shoulder proved more brittle than brutal and he’s out of the World Cup.
Scotland, needing to beat England by eight points, led 12-3 in the second half before losing 16-12 to Chris Ashton’s 78th- minute match-winning try.
Wilkinson missed his first three penalty attempts and missed a left-footed drop goal from right in front. Madness.
And for 55 minutes Georgia led Argentina 7-5. Not quite madness, but a contender.
The Canadians even led the All Blacks 3-0 for three minutes. Definite madness.
What more, asked everyone? Surely an Italian win against Ireland to seal the most dramatic conclusion to the 40- match round robin stage.
Come on Italy, screamed every South African. Say what they may publicly, the Boks would much have preferred the Irish as quarterfinal opponents.
It was not to be. Instead they have the Tri-Nations champions Australia to beat to make it to Eden Park for the first time in this tournament.
If you are planning on going anywhere on Sunday, pick a church to offer thanks or for a World Cup mourning.
I’d suggest it is safer just not going anywhere. The 2011 Rugby World Cup is officially open.
397 Comments
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3 Oct 2011, 16:50 pm
Sorry, I see it was posted by HG.
3 Oct 2011, 16:52 pm
@Heavens Game(Heavens Game)-97: O Gara is basically Willem de Waal with an accent. And Priestland has had about one and a half good games (that anyone here has seen).
3 Oct 2011, 16:53 pm
Whoever wins the Aus & Boks game will win the WC.
Wales suddenly have a very good shot at the WC, would you believe…
3 Oct 2011, 16:56 pm
@mshiniwami(mshiniwami)-55: Never liked him as a winger but you are right he did score the most tries, he like habana had a swerve more than a step. Still don’t like him, Joe at his peak was the goods!
3 Oct 2011, 16:57 pm
Whoever wins the Aus & Boks game will play on Friday.
You heard it here first.
3 Oct 2011, 16:57 pm
O Gara of the ‘Thanks for costing them the British Lions series’fame?
And Morne Steyn of the ‘Thanks for winning us the British Lions series’ fame?
3 Oct 2011, 16:58 pm
Slade hasn’t has a competitive game for months, he has played minnows and performed badly. When he played in PE(against an unfit bok team lacking gametime), he was disgustingly of the pace and looked lost.
He will have a lot less time and space against top teams and will ultimately cost NZ the WC
3 Oct 2011, 16:58 pm
@Tacitus(Deucalion)-101: @>^..^< katman(katman)-102: Relax chaps… Was trying not to be “biased”…
Obviously with M Steyn being the highest points scorer at the RWC he should be at 1… not to mention the most accurate boot.
3 Oct 2011, 16:59 pm
@NoRugbyGuru_0_(RugbyGuru_0_)-103:
i think its more apropriate to say wales’ have a very good shot at making a 3rd place play off at worst or 2nd place at best’ at the wc.
3 Oct 2011, 17:00 pm
@NoRugbyGuru_0_(RugbyGuru_0_)-107:
Yup, I can see the headline, “All Blacks Slade!”
3 Oct 2011, 17:02 pm
@Nils(Nils)-105:
dont you mean sunday?
or is it humour i’m missing?
3 Oct 2011, 17:04 pm
@Nils(Nils)-100: when it come to ice in the veins morne is beyond reproach at clutch kicking… *cue british & irish lions 2nd test @ loftus.
3 Oct 2011, 17:04 pm
@mshiniwami(mshiniwami)-59: Usi ngoke ezikawusini, slade uyi weakness for sure uyasi hlaza. uRead no McCaw bophukile clean! Andazi uba sizaku wenza kanjani.
3 Oct 2011, 17:05 pm
I wonder if Amanda Knox are going to get a “not guilty” in her appeal.
3 Oct 2011, 17:07 pm
@Fern is not a stud,he is merely no19(Fern)-114:
Is there more than one of her?
3 Oct 2011, 17:09 pm
@David(David)-115:
Foxy Knoxy
Knickerless Knoxy
Verdict will be about 7pm UK time.
3 Oct 2011, 17:11 pm
@NoRugbyGuru_0_(RugbyGuru_0_)-107: it’s not as if GH has a LOT of options..
Highlanders: Slade, Sopoaga, Tony Brown
Crusaders: Carter, Berquist
Chiefs: “Beaver”, Delany
Blues: Brett, Mcalister
Hurricanes: Cruden, Kirkpatrick
he has kak to choose from…no Nick Evans, or even Daniel Bowden
3 Oct 2011, 17:18 pm
@Tacitus(Deucalion)-2:
Carol will get you for that……..lol. Had a good chuckle though.
@Tacitus(Deucalion)-7: hahahaha. Tac you on a roll………lol.
3 Oct 2011, 17:19 pm
@Fern is not a stud,he is merely no19(Fern)-116:
I know, I’m following it on Sky News.
3 Oct 2011, 17:21 pm
@WP Till I Die(WP-Forever)-15: Think you are right with Butch starting at inside centre. Will sort of keep our game plan going.
Really do hope that Hougaard is injury free and JPP. We really need both for this game. Habs was actually looking good before he went off injured.
3 Oct 2011, 17:21 pm
@NoRugbyGuru_0_(RugbyGuru_0_)-107: as for PdV:
Bulls: Morne, Brummer
Sharks: Lambie, JLP
Cheetahs: naas olivier, ebersohn
Stormers: Grant, L.Cronje, Aswegen, Coleman, Catrikilis, Rose
Lions: Jantjies, Francis, Herkie
also not much to speak of, lambie with only one Super Rugby season is not very far from Slade.
3 Oct 2011, 17:21 pm
Trans, yes but not one of them is DC. If I was GH then I would play wetpoo at flyhalf. Yes he’s fat, slow and not much of kicking game but for some reason draw a lot of attention from defenders.
3 Oct 2011, 17:21 pm
@Transformation(Transformation)-117: Looking at that list, I actually think that Tony Brown may not have been a disastrous choice as a 3rd choice fly half for their squad, because its the pressure of goal kicking that seems to get to all of Carter’s understudies and then the rest of the game goes out the window. Tony Brown could probably handle pressure far better then all the guys mentioned in your post, apart from Nick Evans, who is a no go, because of NZ selection policy.
3 Oct 2011, 17:27 pm
@Transformation(Transformation)-121:
You’ve left out the new Messiah from the Free State, Goosen.
3 Oct 2011, 17:29 pm
@David(David)-124: hayi man, goosen was not available for selection to go to the wereld beker. he was still getting klapped by england u20 in italy
3 Oct 2011, 17:32 pm
@Transformation(Transformation)-125: Ja, and he was made to look a bit stupid by the England u20 laaitie George Ford… I actually dont know where these dreamers are coming from falling over themselves for this Goosen… A flash in the pan if ever I saw.
3 Oct 2011, 17:37 pm
@Heavens Game(Heavens Game)-126: ag, it means nothing, lambie didn’t even play pivot last year in argentina but look what he did in the currie cup last year…
goosen has the goods and more talented than lambie, now to see if he has the grey matter to match the physical feats.
3 Oct 2011, 17:40 pm
@Transformation(Transformation)-125:
Jake would have phoned his headmaster to find out how good he is.
3 Oct 2011, 17:45 pm
@Transformation(Transformation)-121:
And Plod? was a fly-half in his previous life…
3 Oct 2011, 17:47 pm
@Transformation(Transformation)-127: But Transie you are too obvious… For you anyone is better than someone from the Sharks… The last “argument” you had about someone better than Lambie it was either Sias Ebersohn or Jantjies **** you were sucking…
3 Oct 2011, 17:50 pm
@Transformation(Transformation)-127: Tell me about this goosen fellow. What are we talking about?
3 Oct 2011, 17:51 pm
@David(David)-128:
So even the normally mellow and seemingly fair-minded, of foreign birth, can show their True Colours, better than Cyndi Lauper or Phil Collins, in that post #472 in that ‘ ABs pain …. ‘ thread?
Well it could be argued that is to be expected when ‘Rabid’ David is exposed for too long to the milk and the honey to forever remain seemingly unbiased – boorish post.
And save time by not reading between the lines as it is straight in the face.
3 Oct 2011, 17:53 pm
I seen a picture of this bird who claimed the England players made suggestive comments to, i guess they must have been seriously pissed as she aint the bonniest of lassies around. If your going to make sexually suggestive comments at least make them to half decent looking women to make it worthwhile!
3 Oct 2011, 17:57 pm
@mpundulu(mpundulu)-131:
He kicks like Naas and runs like Danie Gerber….
3 Oct 2011, 17:59 pm
@dquinn25(dquinn25)-133: So she was an average Kiwi bird… face like the back of a bus with rather squint eyes?
3 Oct 2011, 18:00 pm
@Getafix(phil72)-134: He cant be that good if he was totally outplayed by George Ford – a midget runt of a player.
3 Oct 2011, 18:02 pm
So much of this RWC seems to be so contrived and well worked out to a particular desired script.
This Sat. we have the original Four/Five Nations scrapping it out to eventually give us a NH finalist whilst on Sun. the ‘new’ 4 Nations gets cracking to eventually gives us a SH finalis.
North versus South seems to be the agreed s hit flavour of the WC when really the rugby world really needs a final between the best two rugby nations in the world for that Final.
3 Oct 2011, 18:02 pm
@Heavens Game(Heavens Game)-136:
He has missed 2 kicks this season, and 1 was from 60 plus meters…
3 Oct 2011, 18:03 pm
@dquinn25(dquinn25)-133: What goes on tour stays on tour…… Unfortunately not these days.
3 Oct 2011, 18:03 pm
@ET.(ET.)-137:
finalis should read finalist
3 Oct 2011, 18:07 pm
@ET.(ET.)-132:
So you find it difficult to grasp a bit of light hearted satire? Do I understand from your comment that you’re biased towards the ABs.
To put the record straight, I’m an admirer of All Black rugby, but not a supporter. Fortunately, as you are a Leeds supporter I can understand and thus forgive your lack of a sense of humour.
3 Oct 2011, 18:11 pm
@Getafix(phil72)-138: Yeah in “monstrously high” pressure games where all the Boks are in NZ… whats more, a 60m kick in Bloem isn’t the same as one in Wellington…
I watched a couple of CC games this year and they look positively pedestrian… There’s farkall on the line.
3 Oct 2011, 18:12 pm
@David(David)-141: Hehehe
3 Oct 2011, 18:14 pm
@David(David)-141:
It was very funny, take no notice of Dr Killjoy.
3 Oct 2011, 18:17 pm
@JockBok(JockBok)-144: You recovered from Ashton’s blow to the Scot’s psyche?
3 Oct 2011, 18:19 pm
@Heavens Game(Heavens Game)-135: She looked very masculine is all id say
Definitely beer goggles from the guys or elevated testosterone levels making the brain do a lack of thinking for itself
3 Oct 2011, 18:20 pm
@HongKongSlong(HongKongSlong)-139: Yes clearly, the gutter press dont help this matter
3 Oct 2011, 18:21 pm
@JockBok(JockBok)-144:
I take it with the proverbial pinch of salt.
3 Oct 2011, 18:21 pm
@Heavens Game(Heavens Game)-142:
This sounds like a wind up but it’s really notm but how was Saturdays Sharks v WP game? I was so ‘tired and emotional’ after the drama of the morning that I remember absolutely nothing of it and I’m quite sure I watched the whole game. I think.
True story.
3 Oct 2011, 18:25 pm
@dquinn25(dquinn25)-146: Sounds like this Kiwi bird is a Soozie wannabe and is lying through her teeth… Either that or you are right about the English players been pisshed as coots.
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