Goodbye to the minnows; hello to the madness
3 Oct 2011
MARK KEOHANE, in Business Day Newspaper, writes if drama’s your game, don’t go anywhere in the next three weekends.
After 48 of the most dramatic hours ever experienced at a Rugby World Cup, we finally have a competition that demands that you don’t go anywhere for the next three weekends. Goodbye to the minnows and hello to the madness of knockout rugby.
Typically, France gave us an appetiser of the madness of which they are capable. Their players simply did not pitch for a pool match they could afford to lose (and still qualify for the last eight) in protest over their fractious relationship with coach Marc Lievremont. They lost to Tonga. Lievremont said he was ashamed of the performance and admitted the players refused to engage in a bonding session.
New Zealand rugby royalty Dan Carter tore his groin muscle in a kicking drill on Saturday afternoon and the mood among locals was sombre and more applicable to when a nation mourns a popular head of state. If you happen to have been on a space shuttle, Carter, the game’s most complete flyhalf and New Zealand’s master conductor, is out of the World Cup. It is New Zealand’s worst rugby nightmare and there may now not even be an occasion for these men in black to choke.
With Carter at No10 they led the World Cup pack. Without him the All Blacks are just one of the championship-chasing pack. They would get past the Pumas even if Carter’s grandmother was at flyhalf, but getting beyond the semifinals will need a flyhalf more capable than his understudy, Colin Slade.
The All Blacks, with Carter gone and Richie McCaw on one leg, are officially in another World Cup crisis. At least they can take comfort that next year they will be unbeatable again and Carter won’t get one injury.
Some things are meant to be. The All Blacks have a World Cup curse and England a World Cup Fairy Godmother. New Zealand just can’t seem to keep it together or get it together.
England can do as they please, play as they please and pick as many plodders as they please. They’ve tossed a few dwarfs around in Dunedin, gone on the piss, admitted to switching match balls to give their struggling goal-kicking ace Jonny Wilkinson an advantage, and coach Martin Johnson acknowledged reprimanding three players who lured a hotel worker to their rooms and made suggestive comments about wanting oral sex. The only thing the England players and coaching staff have not admitted to is playing turgid rugby.
The International Rugby Board (IRB) sanction has been a “don’t do it again … now get on and win this bloody thing for us old farts in the Northern Hemisphere” before turning its full attention to the hideous crime of a Samoan player wearing a gum guard that contravened official tournament sponsorship rules.
The offence was deemed so serious that the team was fined NZ$10000, and worse was to follow for the Samoans after controversial centre Eliota Fuimaono Sapolu called Welsh referee Nigel Owens a prick, a racist and an elitist who favoured the Springboks in Samoa’s 13-5 defeat.
Sapolu tweeted that he would love to meet IRB members on the street and said the game’s administration was protecting the big five and the wealthy. He also confirmed his retirement from international rugby, arguing there was no point to it if you were a tier-two nation.
The IRB have confirmed a hearing. Toss around a dwarf and illegally switch match balls during play, but just don’t call the IRB an elite organisation.
When Samoa and Fiji played at Eden Park a fortnight ago they smashed each other for 80 minutes, then gathered in prayer as a band of Pacific Island brothers. On Friday night after the most brutal of matches against the Boks there was nothing more than a grudging Samoan handshake.
The Samoan captain spoke of referee bias and Bok captain Victor Matfield expressed disgust at the Samoan off-the- ball thuggery.
Frans Steyn, colossal all tournament, legally smashed into Samoans all night but his shoulder proved more brittle than brutal and he’s out of the World Cup.
Scotland, needing to beat England by eight points, led 12-3 in the second half before losing 16-12 to Chris Ashton’s 78th- minute match-winning try.
Wilkinson missed his first three penalty attempts and missed a left-footed drop goal from right in front. Madness.
And for 55 minutes Georgia led Argentina 7-5. Not quite madness, but a contender.
The Canadians even led the All Blacks 3-0 for three minutes. Definite madness.
What more, asked everyone? Surely an Italian win against Ireland to seal the most dramatic conclusion to the 40- match round robin stage.
Come on Italy, screamed every South African. Say what they may publicly, the Boks would much have preferred the Irish as quarterfinal opponents.
It was not to be. Instead they have the Tri-Nations champions Australia to beat to make it to Eden Park for the first time in this tournament.
If you are planning on going anywhere on Sunday, pick a church to offer thanks or for a World Cup mourning.
I’d suggest it is safer just not going anywhere. The 2011 Rugby World Cup is officially open.
397 Comments
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3 Oct 2011, 18:26 pm
@Heavens Game(Heavens Game)-145:
Just about. See #149. Yesterday was a write off but chipper again today. I’m just a bit miffed that WP actually won a game and I can’t remember seeing it….
But it’s all good, now I’ve got the QF’s to look forward to without worrying about an AB annihilation job on the hapless Jocks. Every cloud and all that
3 Oct 2011, 18:27 pm
Naughty poms making advances to chambermaid.
Orally nogal.
3 Oct 2011, 18:27 pm
@JockBok(JockBok)-149: Dont even know the result… Seriously. Thats how much I care about it during RWC time. Who won? (Will google now)
3 Oct 2011, 18:28 pm
@Heavens Game(Heavens Game)-153: Just saw WePee beat the Sharks 15-10… Boo farken hoo.
3 Oct 2011, 18:28 pm
@Heavens Game(Heavens Game)-150: Lol id imagine so
Mind you when us guys are horny anything goes! You can worry about it in the morning lol
3 Oct 2011, 18:30 pm
David, it was very funny. Anyone and everyone should be able to laugh at that from the staunchest AB fan to the plastic Cape variety.
Had to laugh at this link today posted on Keo’s facebook page…
http://www.hayibo.com/rugby-players-warned-to-be-on-lookout-for-attempted-smiting-by-god/
Absolutely hilarious.
3 Oct 2011, 18:30 pm
Dquinn where are you based and what colour is your tartan?
3 Oct 2011, 18:33 pm
@David(David)-141:
The so predictable, safe outlet of satire or irony or joke or whatever but the same fellow also wants to instruct or demand of some people which team they MUST support because his own value system guides him to accept that rule of thumb for himself but only himself of support for the national team? How many more times do you need to be told the nationalism is gloriously pathologic?
I have the absolutely smartest and most principled approach dictated by my absolute hatred for racism in any form . And that smart choice is, any country that opposes the former arch racist and, at best, presently , neo-racist in cricket , rugby or any other major global sporting event will get my total support until that day when S.A. is truly and unashamedly non-racial.
Hence any British Lions or All Black or Wallaby or French or etc., etc. has and will always get my support.
Do not read between any lines. It is straight to the face.
3 Oct 2011, 18:34 pm
@JockBok(JockBok)-151: Lol… But surely now you are right behind the Boks (what with your Saffa wife plus the Bok part of Jock and all)… Pressure builds. Kiwis are going doolally
3 Oct 2011, 18:35 pm
@Heavens Game(Heavens Game)-154:
It’s about all I’ve got to look forward to now that the Jocks are out.
But I will of course be shouting for the Boks for the remainder of the tournament, but it’s not the same if you catch my drift. A Boks v England final would be a good result for me. You never know what you’ll get with the Sassenach barstewards so I reckon it would be a fitting final again.
3 Oct 2011, 18:38 pm
@David(David)-141:
Extraball is completely devoid of any sense of humour, irony or satire.
He makes frankenstein look like a high school science project.
3 Oct 2011, 18:39 pm
@dquinn25(dquinn25)-155: After tequilas you absolve responsibility… I have sworn a couple of times that I would chop humphry right off after seeing where he had been in the cold light of day of the morning after. Yup, thats why what goes on tour stays on tour.
3 Oct 2011, 18:40 pm
@ET.(ET.)-158:
But you support The Whites?
3 Oct 2011, 18:40 pm
@ET.(ET.)-158:
And yet you enjoyed so much a Samoan player smacking a ‘dutchy’ last week? And celebrated it as well like a winning goal in the FA cup final? Is that the non-racialism you speak of liar?
Farkin Hypocrite.
3 Oct 2011, 18:41 pm
@JockBok(JockBok)-160: LOLLLLLLLL!! Classic
3 Oct 2011, 18:41 pm
Mmmmm.
Arch racist.
That’s a new one.
3 Oct 2011, 18:45 pm
@ET.(ExtraTiete.)-158: First it was the ABs you support for aesthetic rugger reasons now its Anyone But The Boks… You move your goal posts like a hormonal woman… Actually, I reckon you might be a hormonal woman. Hence your new name…
3 Oct 2011, 18:45 pm
Couldn’t be bovvered to read the rest of it
3 Oct 2011, 18:46 pm
@Heavens Game(Heavens Game)-162: Lol
Google her Annabel Newton she has the look of a bird that would let you finger her on a first date, and probably give you a bare back ********!
3 Oct 2011, 18:46 pm
ET’s ***-burgers are playing up again.
No sense of social subtlety.
Maybe it’s a mental issue.
Too much mercury in the lab.
3 Oct 2011, 18:50 pm
Vok quinn wash your mouth out with soap!
3 Oct 2011, 18:51 pm
@dquinn25(dquinn25)-169: Just had a look… Hellsteeth, they farkedthecat there.
What a ridiculous “incident”…
3 Oct 2011, 18:54 pm
@Dawn(Dawn)-171: Lol youd need to after a night with her
3 Oct 2011, 18:56 pm
Rugby players have no taste.
3 Oct 2011, 18:58 pm
@dquinn25(dquinn25)-173: Chap, Ive seen better looking worse for wear Welsh lasses passed out in the gutters of Cardiff after a Millenium Stadium Wales vs Boks after party… and thats saying something.
3 Oct 2011, 19:02 pm
@Jinx2(Jinx2)-163:
The Mighty Whites ( based on the Great Real Madrid).
They won on Sat. and if they win on Fri. against Donnies then they will be in the top 6 and climbing .
3 Oct 2011, 19:02 pm
@Heavens Game(Heavens Game)-175: Lol yep i can imagine. We’ve got quite our fair share of whales here in Scotland as well, too much Irn Bru fish suppers and nights on the p@ss.
One good thing is with a bird like that they are far more open minded in the sack! Blow J@bs and a@al *** are almost a given
3 Oct 2011, 19:03 pm
Annabel Newton looks like Ms. Piggy and that pink shirt do her no favors
Judging by her facial expression, you would think someone asked her to suckadick… Oh wait
3 Oct 2011, 19:04 pm
Ok scot tracker back on.
Quinn where in scotland are you.
3 Oct 2011, 19:11 pm
@dquinn25(dquinn25)-177: Hehehe… The booby prize… Thats what hunt the grunt evenings are made for… Farken dangerous though… must dip in dettol before and afterwards, but after 6 or so tequilas you forget… and then a month later, swollen ballas and kno.b on fire…
Naah, those England rugger players were playing with fire.
3 Oct 2011, 19:15 pm
what happened to et and hg’s love relationship?the zimbo seems angry.
3 Oct 2011, 19:16 pm
@Dawn(Dawn)-179: Near Aberdeen
3 Oct 2011, 19:22 pm
Even though it has been written as ” any country ” but, and political history will support that, and any country can and has played its sport in the true spirit without denying some of their folk and aesthetically too, the stereotypical boorish, arrogant Boers cannot but continue those demeaning ploys of distortion, twisted words and logic , lies, confusion all and more so dictated by their ” white is right and white is might” apartheid culture. No one has yet succeeded in wiping out history.
Sectarianism in any form, be it cultural, religious, political, even anatomical or physiological, and sexism and racism in any form is vile and it STINKS
3 Oct 2011, 19:27 pm
462.ET.:
30 Sep 2011, 11:13 am Paul Williams you are a hero to greater Cape Town. You were hit first by that dutchy.
3 Oct 2011, 19:27 pm
@mvk(mvk)-181: The “Zimbo”??? And there I was thinking I was condemned to being “Rhodesian”… Oh well, lets be PC and all that.
Wrt the “love relationship” ExtraTits was obviously tired of having his head stuck up my backside… It was also getting a bit uncomfortable for me despite ET’s peanut sized cranium… But don’t feel sorry for me, feel sorry for ExtraTits because after some beer and billies my backside is no pot-pourri…
3 Oct 2011, 19:29 pm
@Heavens Game(Heavens Game)-180: Lmao
3 Oct 2011, 19:29 pm
@ET.(ET.)-183: You forgot a mention of Agri forum in all your haste… Silly silly… Also no mention of Nazi’s???
Lost your touch, I’m afraid.
3 Oct 2011, 19:35 pm
Jirre HG TMI on your ballas problems already!!!! Yuck!
3 Oct 2011, 19:38 pm
Yesterday he was dik tjommies with David now he picking on him too!
3 Oct 2011, 19:51 pm
@Dawn(Dawn)-189:
I can take it, without being offended.
3 Oct 2011, 19:54 pm
I think the English ruggerbuggers will have to be more careful for the rest of the WC.
Otherwise one of them will end up contracting a disease whose name he can’t spell.
3 Oct 2011, 19:55 pm
@Heavens Game(Heavens Game)-130: you’re talking out of your bumhole…i’ve never said sias or elton are better than lambie!
i maintained that the hype about lambie was unwarranted and said him & elton should be given time to develop…
now johan goosen is an excitement machine, has x-factor in spades next year naka must throw him at the deep end
3 Oct 2011, 19:58 pm
@I am a stormer(I am a stormer)-191: Damn right.
3 Oct 2011, 19:59 pm
Archsectarianismspongilitis
3 Oct 2011, 20:00 pm
@Transformation(Transformation)-192: Ja Transie…. Nothing like a little fibby fib fib straight from Carly Simon’s Black Panties playbook.
3 Oct 2011, 20:04 pm
@ET.(ET.)-183: Boring Boring Boring. There is nothing worse than this moron. They are just as bad or worse than the target of his cliched bile he spews.
People who spew this dinosaur 80′s k rap should be shot a t dawn.
In The Ghetto – White is Right alright
3 Oct 2011, 20:06 pm
Don’t shoot him anywhere near me
3 Oct 2011, 20:11 pm
@Dawn(Dawn)-197: Dont worry wont be near you.
3 Oct 2011, 20:17 pm
@ET 183
‘ No one has yet succeeded in wiping out history.’
Har har har
The only thing dumber than that statement of yours is your nick, Eugene Terreblanche you tw*t
3 Oct 2011, 20:20 pm
@Blokkies(Blokkies)-199: Eugene’sTit?
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