Okay I’ll give it a bash….

Java Script?
Jacobsen Syndrome?
Joint Secretariat?
Jam Strope?
Jaswal-Sharma?
Journal des Savants?

As the reign of Pieter de Villiers as Bok coach comes to an end, it’s interesting to reflect on the legacy he leaves us as he Retires In Peace..

And no, I am not reflecting on the fact that he started with the no.1 ranked team in the world, the reigning world champions, and leaves us with a team unceremoniously dumped out of the RWC in the quarter finals – a team now ranked a lowly 4th in the world. But rather I refer to that treasure trove of homespun wisdom, astute political insights and one-liner motivationals that we will have to start living without…. unless of course he gets another 4 years from SARU.

Here, in loving memory, I’ve selected some of his best work:

On being misunderstood
“I don’t care if people don’t understand me. It’s not my duty to say directly to your face that you’re ugly, I say you aren’t pretty and if you can’t read between the lines then it’s not my problem. There’s no pill for stupid”

Reacting to news that there is an alleged *** tape of him:
“I think I should walk away from this job and give it back to the whites.”

On the Boks’ prospects at the 2011 World Cup:
“In our group we are expecting tough games from Tonga and Fiji.” (Tonga were not in the Boks’ group)

Following Schalk Burger’s banning during the Lions series:
“If we want to eye-gouge any Lions we will go down to the bushveld like we do and eye- gouge them there.”
“If we are going on like this, why don’t we go to the nearest ballet shop, get some tutus and get a dancing shop going? There will be no eye-gouging, no tackling, no nothing and we will enjoy it.”
“I know dancing is also a contact sport but rugby is far from dancing. If you want to run with the big dogs then sometimes you have to lift your leg”
“If I lie in hospital and I hear they are putting someone’s head back on that was ripped off by Schalk then I’d say: ‘That’s Schalk, he plays aggressive but he’s not malicious’”
“What we try to tell them is when you point your finger into the sky, don’t concentrate on the finger because you’ll miss all the heavenly glory out there. Concentrate on the heavenly glory you can bring and make yourselves so fulfilled.”

His philosophy on winning:
“There’s little difference between winning and losing, except you feel better after winning.”

Getting biblical:
“The same people who threw their robes on the ground when ***** rode on a donkey were the same people who crowned him and hit him with sticks, and were the same people who said afterwards how we shouldn’t have done that, he’s the son of God. So that’s exactly what we do. You have to look at history as repeating itself. And I’m not saying that I’m God.”

Comparing Schalk Burger / Bakkies Botha to FW De Klerk / Nelson Mandela:
“The small things like judicial hearings will not take away the fact that we won. Nelson Mandela and FW de Klerk won the Nobel Peace Prize. No matter what they did wrong in their lives, no one can take away the fact that they won it.”

When asked if he is the weakest link in the Bok setup:
“If I’m the weakest link then we are bloody strong. I’m a God-given talent. I am the best I can ever be. I know what I am and I don’t give a damn.”

Defending Ricky Januarie ahead of the second Lions Test, then not selecting him for the game:
“What I learned in South Africa is, if you take your car to a garage and the owner is black or a black man, and they mess it up, you never go back to that garage. If the owner is white, you say ag, sorry, they made a mistake and you go back again. This is how some people live their lives in this country.”

When asked why Morgan Newman was picked for the SA XV against Namibia:
“Ja, you know. Morgan Newman has been in form his whole life.”

When asked if he’ll change his style after a week of criticism:
“I won’t change my style, if I change my style I will change Peter de Villiers, and then I would have to tell God that he made a mistake when he made me,”

Ahead of a test against Wales:
“We will give them a psychological advantage and we cannot allow that. We’ve read in the papers here that they believe South Africa are ripe for the picking. They’re comparing us with some fruit from a Welsh fruit farm but they need to know that when you pick fruit, it isn’t just apples and pears; there are prickly pears as well. We want to be a prickly pear for them this Saturday.”

After the Boks’ second consecutive win over the All Blacks in the 2009 Trinations:
“The way things are going right now, in a few year’s time these guys won’t need a coach”

On the Boks’ gameplan:
“We are very organised at the moment, we don’t want to become a fruit salad…”

After criticising Hamilton as being boring:
Reporter: “So Peter de Villiers did you find anything to do in Hamilton?”
PDV: “Ja you know, we did find something to do. We won the Trinations in Hamilton.”

Before the Newlands Test against the All Blacks which the Boks lost:
“If you look at the Bible and see how Joseph got out of the pit and ended up in the palace, but between the pit and the palace there was a moerse lot of kak.”

On South Africa’s victory over the All Blacks:
“We went wild, wild, wild — some of the guys went wilder than that.”

On journalists and the media:
“I don’t care. I don’t take an interest in your job, but I’m glad you take an interest in mine.”

De Villiers accuses the All Blacks of cheating:
“I know the game. Technically, I’m very strong. When I said the All Blacks were cheaters in the first Test in Wellington, I picked up some of the technical stuff they did wrong in the scrums and how they played outside of the laws and how they used that to good effect. I also picked up that, instead of standing a metre apart in the line-outs, they stood a metre and a half apart so that we couldn’t compete; and anything outside of any law is cheating.”

On matching the All Blacks:
“I do not like to prepare guys to cheat and it seems to me to be the only way forward if you want to be on top of those kind of things, and that’s 70 per cent of our game.”

On himself:
“Ninety-five per cent of people all around the world are conventional people, they go with the crowd. They only do what other people do. They can’t be their own person. I’ve got a job to do. I think I’m a strong individual, a strong character. I don’t care what people think about me, I don’t care what people say about me. It’s what I think about me and myself – and I love myself a lot. It’s about me and my team and my country. If I’m respected in my team, I don’t care about what other people think.”

On clever people:
” I am a ‘small-brain’ person. A small-brain person doesn’t need to go sit down and study over what he’s going to say to people; it comes naturally. People who study and get A’s and B’s are clever people. But people who don’t go and study and have all that wisdom are wise.”

On the haters:
“If you look at those people who say all those things about me you will ask: How did God manage to create those people?”

On Robbie Deans:
“If Robbie Deans says it, then it’s different. I mean, Robbie Deans is a good coach and I am not.”

When asked if he was an affirmative action appointment:
“They certainly didn’t vote for me because I have a lovely smile”

The magician:
“I’m going to pull a rat out of the hat”

On the British press:
“I heard the papers went mad. Sorry for them. Do they know we won the match? We‘ve taken 12 years to beat the Lions and if we beat them by one point or 20 points it does not matter.”

Life in South Africa:
“I believe life within your own country is sometimes a burden because you have to face it every day, but when you go outside your borders, you see it is actually worse.”

Asked if he thought the 2010 win against England had saved his job:
“I never employed myself. It would be a lot easier if I did. I don’t care. The pressure I respond to is to deliver for the country, to give hope to South Africans. That does not mean we won’t make mistakes. You can slaughter me if I make a big mistake, I just hope you can sell the meat.”

Graham Henry on Peter De Villiers:
“I can’t really take anything he says seriously.”

Peter De Villiers on Graham Henry:
“Graham Henry is a good coach, but he’s like me, he has a big mouth.”

Explaining his comment on Graham Henry:
“I said that, like me, he’s got a big mouth and what I meant by that is that he’s a very honest guy. People respect him all around the world for his honesty. He’s a student of the game, he knows the game and his players respect him a lot.”

Aussie reporter Greg Growden on Peter De Villiers:
“The Richard Pryor of rugby was in town.”

Oregan Hoskins on Peter De Villiers:
“I want to be honest with South Africa and say that the appointment was not entirely made for rugby reasons. We as an organisation have made the appointment and taken into account the issue of transformation very seriously when we made it.”
“I wouldn’t say he’s the best coach in the world, but I wouldn’t say he’s inferior to Jake White.”

Yeah right! What a doos, there is no ways JS is too blame for the QF exit, the buck stops at the coach………go plug in your brain sometime you retarded dingbat!

PDV may not have been the best coach but all in his decision making and selection was not bad. He wouldn’t have been my coach and certianly didn’t deserve the job but didn’t do too badly

An abysmal season where we beat the ABs for the first time ever in Dunedin and recorded a record victory against Aus. Let it never be forgotten that PdV wanted to change the way the Boks played but that these very same spineless twats that call themselves rugby journalists on this site was too ******* spineless to back their coach’s new game plan at the time.

Riaan Vrede – people who post here know about your relentless attacks on the coach at the time, you and your twattish scumbag buddies are the biggest, spineless cowards ever. You have ****** zero credibility, boet.

If you need a clue they start with a J and an S

One day, a long, long time ago, there was a woman who was not full of kak….

…..but that was a long, long time ago….and only for one day.

Die Kaapse juffrou vra die klas om ‘n sin met “statistiek” te maak. Nadat die goeie kinders vir haar sinne met die woord “statistiek” in gegee het is dit Jannie se beurt:
“Juffrou,” se hy, “gisteraand toe ek vannie gameshop af kom, toe staate stiek my suster se boyfriend haar sommer daar teen die garage.”

What do you call a boabab with vag inas hanging from the branches?
A country

bwhahahaha…

I see you only have one thing on your brain now?
Perhaps I shouldn’t have refered to me cunning little stunt?

Teacher: Gunth, make a sentence with fascinate
Gunth: I have a jersey with 9 buttons, but I only fascinate

little johnny gets homework for the weekend.
he has to learn how to use the word contagious in a sentence.
so he comes back to school on monday and the teacher asks him to recite his sentence.

so he told her

on sunday my dad saw my mom mowing the back yard with the little push mower and he said to me, why isn’t she using the lawn tractor?
it’s gonna take that cuntages.

I think you’ve got me confused with someone else.

more like another one bites the dust.

but then again pain is so close to pleasure.

it’s a hard life.

@nama1(nama1)-463:

has he been given the opportunity?

agghh forget it.

I know where you are going with this.

Adi is much better

My man’s biological usefulness extends only as far as lawn mowing. Although, he is also a very cunning linguist.
I have a cunning stunt of my own, you now?

Or the position invented by the technicians at the Audi plant
Viersprongducktechnique
You jump like a duck four times and dump your load on the last landing
Takes practice though

Gunth, you’ll enjoy fat bottomed girls.
Especially on the beach
They keep your balls off the sand