Potent Pommies pulverise imperfect All Blacks
1 Dec 2012
MARK KEOHANE writes that England, at least until the teams next meet, are in the penthouse and all of New Zealand’s rugby world champions will be made to feel like home for the next six months is closer to the shithouse.
England won a Test that was more a non contest 38-21 and they won it in a manner surely only their players could have believed was possible.
England also ensured international rugby remains a game of hope for those who play the All Blacks and not merely an opportunity for the game’s self proclaimed Messiah to deliver an exhibition of the supposed idealism of the game.
The rugby gods have a way of ensuring this is a game meant for mortals that appreciate the triumph and fallibility of mortals. New Zealand, in recent weeks, bemoaned the imperfection of their mortal performances and turned their attention to an indulgent and self-absored inner search for rugby immortality.
It was painful to listen to how no win was good enough as the game’s best players bemoaned their vulnerability in making mistakes, but it will never be as painful as the beating inflicted on them by an England team apparently lacking in ambition, belief and of inferior playing pedigree.
The All Blacks, strained at the continued imperfections of every Test victory, spoke of finishing the year with the perfect performance but got only to know the feeling of a non-performance.
No English team has ever been as uncharitable, brutal and belittling when hosting the All Blacks. How wonderfully entertaining of the English to finally show some mongrel and to do it with a poise more befitting of the pending immortals wearing black.
England played as if sent by the gods to remind the All Blacks that reward comes from beating the opposition and not the romantic notion of a perfect rugby performance.
Playing the perfect game will never be possible, but the All Blacks who took a beating at Twickenham will know there is something like the most painful game.
Celebrate England and smile. The result was perfect, which is very different to a performance assessed on a belief that it has to be perfect.
The sport needed this result as much as the All Blacks needed a reminder that beating the opposition is still the greater reward and reason to play the game than the self indulgent notion that victory comes not in who they beat but in their ability to play the perfect game.
Players, who have made New Zealand the best team in the world in the last 20 months, will never know what it feels like to be perfect in 80 minutes of Test rugby, but they certainly will speak with authority about how it feels to be pulverised and made to feel pedestrian, pathetic and pulverised.
England, expected to play with passion but no poise, precision or perfection, were ruthless, adventurous and never reckless in taking the game’s champs and for 80 minutes treating them like chumps.
The hosts, heroic and inspirational, led 15-0 at half-time in the most emphatic domination of the All Blacks in the history of the two teams. Don’t belittle what England achieved. Not since Jonny Wilkinson kicked the most famous drop goal in English rugby to win England the 2003 World Cup has a nation had as much reason to feel so bloody good on a Saturday night after a Test match.
This was never a contest. In the context of the 80 minutes New Zealand were fortunate not to concede 50 points.
It would do every England player a disservice to speak of New Zealand player fatigue as the reason for the defeat, and it would also do England a disservice to want to read anything beyond the 80 minutes into the performance.
This match needs to celebrated for a result that balances the world order, even if only temporarily, but more importantly for 80 of the finest minutes in England’s professional rugby history.
It reminded me of Buster Douglas knocking out Mike Tyson as among sport’s greatest upsets. The more the England backs trampled over the limp New Zealand defence, the more surreal it seemed. It was a beating of the most emphatic nature and it showed what is possible in any one-off contest where adventure and belief match the physicality and commitment.
New Zealand in the professional era average just over one Test defeat a year. This was it. The unbeaten Test run of 20 ended with a knockout, but it was the All Blacks who were floored. Ultimately it may prove that the most humiliating of defeats proves the most inspiring of results in the push for a successful defence of the World Cup in 2015.
England’s win was their first against the All Blacks and Springboks in 20 Tests so there is no crisis in New Zealand rugby and there certainly should not be any talk just yet of England being world champions in 2015.
Celebrate what is possible when it all comes together for a team in 80 minutes. Call it magnificent and don’t be shy in using every bit of purple praise to commend a performance and a result that is a contradiction of the player pedigree of the sides and certainly of the results in the last two seasons.
England’s players will believe it is possible to win, even against the might of the All Blacks. And New Zealand’s finest will know it is possible to lose, even against a youthful England.
Twickenham on Saturday will be mentioned every time a team is dismissed as a challenger to the world’s best in New Zealand. It will also be the reminder to every All Black player and every New Zealand supporter that if the professional game’s two greatest players Richie McCaw and Dan Carter could so decisively be pummeled in 80 minutes, no match can be assumed safe on the basis of the black jersey and previous performances.
New Zealand produce the quality of England’s finest moment since 2003 three matches in four. Their domination of the game and standards of excellence often mean that their finest matches are not given the necessary accolades because of all the talk of playing the perfect game.
Perhaps New Zealand’s public will again appreciate what constitutes a fine All Blacks win because they again know what it feels like to be humiliated on at least one Saturday in the Test calendar year.
I expect there to be humility in the post match talk from both camps. England will talk of the need to back up this type of all-round win against the very best and deliver consistently in big tournaments. New Zealand can’t but acknowledge this was a day in which they g0t whipped in every aspect of the game.
New Zealand’s 2011 World Cup-winning squad peaked with the most decisive last 40 minutes against the Springboks at Soccer City. It was a match that defined the quality of the world champions. Twickenham will be the start of a building towards a younger side for New Zealand. That is not a bad thing because what Saturday showed is that if the legs are not there no amount of wisdom, experience of historical brilliance can guarantee a winning result.
England were passionate in everything they did, accurate, clinical and crushingly brutal in the collisions. The result and the flow of the game would have surprised no-one had the winners being wearing black.
Give England their due. On this particular Saturday, All Blacks wingers Cory Jane and Julian Savea were as good as they have been all year. For the rest England won at the scrum, the lineout, field position, ball possession and most importantly in every collision. They advanced metres. The men in black were manhandled and carried back with as much ferocity.
The black jersey is again the cape of mortals. Hooray for that.
The 2015 World Cup again has an appeal. Nothing can ever be taken as a given when World Cup glory is determined in 80 minutes.
England have players capable of playing rugby as it was meant to be played. New Zealand, the bench mark of excellence, have players capable of taking a beating. The challenger played with the authority of the champion and the champion with the confusion and bewilderment of a mere pretender taking a pounding.
Take away the identities of the players and the two teams and reflect on the rugby. It was deserving of a standing ovation.
England believed and the All Blacks were never given a chance to not believe. The blows, all legal, were landed in the first collisions and sustained for the duration of the contest. New Zealand were never in this game and the momentum was always with those blokes in white.
England flanker Tom Wood was named Man of the Match but centre Manu Tualigi will remember this day as the one in which greats were made to look like greying pensioners. England’s triumph was New Zealand’s humiliation.
Carter played with the hesitation of a general who wasn’t fit enough to be in battle. Not even the finest are exempt if the mind knows the body is bleeding. Not even the greatest of them all McCaw could match the intensity of England, individually or collectively.
The All Blacks, beaten up for 50 minutes, countered with a flurry that historically would have be followed by a fundamental lesson that this is a team that can be dazed but never regarded defeated. Jane’s footwork and fighting qualities inspired 14 points.
England, 15 points clear and on the rampage, suddenly led by a point and the assumption was the last 20 minutes would be theirs by default more than design. Every other opponent has imploded at the ease with which an hour of control is undone within three minutes.
England’s players, unlike every other opponent in the last 18 months, simply played with greater adventure in response to New Zealand’s terrific two-try cameo and scored a brilliant try of their own. The confidence of England led to more chaos within New Zealand and the reality of circumstance for once proved more influential and defining than the mystique of the might of the black jersey.
England believed they could not lose. The All Blacks knew this was a day they could not win. They were courageous in trying to summon something but England’s reward for refusing to succumb to history and play the situation on merit was the most comprehensive English win in the history of battles between the two countries.
There was nothing fortunate about the win, but there was something particularly fabulous. England played the near perfect blend of rugby New Zealand talks about, in appreciation for width but with precision and not recklessness, in respect of 80 minutes and not 60 and with regard to an opponent who never lacked in desire but never threatened to terrorise.
This was a day when England looked like a team of wonderfully conditioned international rugby players and New Zealand looked bemused, battered and beaten by the refusal of a team to be beaten by a jersey worn by players who had not lost in 18 months, but who on the day were taken a beating.
The best team won at Twickenham on the basis of 80 minutes. Enjoy it England because while no one can say it will be a once in a 100 performance against the world’s best it certainly was a once in 20.
As for New Zealand it was a once in 21 defeat.
Perspective? Not just yet.
All of England deserve to boast about this one. It was that kind of demolition job.
And all of New Zealand should replace the patronising talk of the All Blacks being a team in search of playing the perfect game to a team that was painfully pulverised in their last game.
Perspective? Not for the weekend at least.
744 Comments
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2 Dec 2012, 00:20 am
@Kaizan-448: I dont recall you telling me that England would thump the ABs..
but regardless, one loss and a draw in 14 tests still makes me awfully proud of my team.. maintaniing their 80-85% win record..
we played two tests more then SA and lost two tests less..
would be happy with that type of season every season..
2 Dec 2012, 00:37 am
Beeeeaaauuutiful, just watched the replay……….the most arrogant up themselves team just got their a rse handed to them……..fantastic!
2 Dec 2012, 00:40 am
Well done England!I didnt see the game but it sounds like we got a right royal rodgering.Great to see that rugby isnt turning into a one horse race.Heres hoping that the Boks and Wallabys Step up next year and create an awsome rugby season.Again Well done England and all there supporters.
2 Dec 2012, 00:40 am
@poppa69-451: AB midfield defence awful.Still No.1
2 Dec 2012, 00:51 am
Oh! dear how da mighty have fallen. Tackler no where to be seen ouch.
2 Dec 2012, 00:57 am
#451 nah don”t think so . Game against oz few weeks back hurt and this is even worse and to be spanked by a pom team that got pummeled by the boks is not going to go down to well in sheep land but hey it happens .
2 Dec 2012, 01:00 am
The All Blacks looked faded.They missed tackles and it almost appeared
that they had not shaken off the effect of the stomach bug. As usual Mark
Keohane is reading far too much in England’s performance. The fact is England
lost against The Aussies and Boks.
Just as one swallow does not make summer England’s performance against a jaded All Black team does not mean that they are now on top of the rugby world.
These teams have now played each other 35 times of which the Poms have won 7 and the men in Black 27 with one draw, with 831 points against 462 in favour of NZ ,now that is a pulverising record to be proud of.
2 Dec 2012, 01:02 am
#457 Yip that pretty much sums it up spot on.
2 Dec 2012, 01:05 am
@pompies-455: See 441.
2 Dec 2012, 01:10 am
Oh come now, “jaded and feeling the after effects of a bug” sound like a whinge/excuse to me. They got Pomped ……end of! Acknowledge that will ya brentie wentie
2 Dec 2012, 01:42 am
@brentie1: keo “reading far too much”? i’m sure the following words are in the above article.
” England’s win was their first against the All
Blacks and Springboks in 20 Tests so there
is no crisis in New Zealand rugby and there
certainly should not be any talk just yet of
England being World Champions in 2015.”
on the day England humiliated a full strength New Zealand team, they were ferocious at the collisions – tuilagi on carter being the pick of the lot.
2 Dec 2012, 01:47 am
Transie, do you think Carter is carrying an injury seeing as he bounced off tackles?
2 Dec 2012, 02:00 am
As long as we continue to own you guys. Then that’s all that matters. Be happy England beat us. But it wasn’t you guys.
2 Dec 2012, 02:01 am
@rugby fan-462: i have no idea tbh…if he is on the park i take it hansen feels he is good to go.
2 Dec 2012, 02:04 am
@NZRugby-463: it’s funny, everyone is allowed an opinion on how boring the boks are but it seems nobody should comment on new zealand being lacklustre for one match..
chin up…
2 Dec 2012, 02:09 am
Jip it was a full strength All Black team only on paper. The fact is ‘The All Blacks have been ravaged by a stomach virus just days before their final Test of the year against England.
Nineteen members of the 34-man extended squad and some management staff have been affected by the bug which team doctor Deb Robinson believes is a norovirus.’
Vomiting and diarrhoea kept the sick confined to their rooms, spending the majority of their day off either in bed or in the bathroom.’
Now the All Blacks are the first to admit that they were beaten by a better
team on the day, but the manner in which they just missed tackles was a clear indication that they were playing far below their normal standards, because England were beaten by both the second and third ranked teams,
who in turn were beaten by the NZ in the championships, not once but twice.
2 Dec 2012, 02:20 am
@Brentie1-466:
This’ll be the downfall of the kiwis.
Lack of humility…. looking for excuses.
Rather just face facts. They were embarrassed by a side which showed far more determination.
2 Dec 2012, 02:29 am
eish…the thing about history it does not reflect score with riders like “keewees were ravaged by gastro bug the week leading to the match”
2 Dec 2012, 02:42 am
Keo, really poor tone to this article, obviously a chip on your shoulder for some reason over nz. You dont get many opportunites to put the boot in to the AB’s so way you go you ********
2 Dec 2012, 02:48 am
@NZMaori-469: keo was obviously drunk when he penned this but please lose the preciousness too
2 Dec 2012, 03:42 am
@poppa69-451:
When we spoke about this match, I called England to win and they did. I didnt think it would be a thumping but I knew England would be up for it.
Congrats to the ABs on a superb year of rugby. Congrats to England on a memorable victory.
2 Dec 2012, 03:43 am
hendrk
lack of humility? like bok supporters who continually assert their better than the ABs.? you yourself dip this all the time, and it bites you every time too. I laugh at your arrogance.
Whatever. hahaha
actually I think the players themselves are pretty humble. NZ media a different story, but then, Bok media and supporters were so humble after winning three times against us years ago. you were one such humble supporter. you know, SA journalists saying NZ rugby was k@k, many a bokke supporter proclaiming a new world order.
fact is, the ABs have lost their first test in 21 games, people like whatever are eminently jealous of this fact and at the first opportunity highlight it so.
I do ask those who have been spouting the world rugby is not strong at the moment theory wether this still applies?
also, those comparing the bok to the ABs on the basis of results against Eng are poor supporters of the best game there is.
2 Dec 2012, 04:10 am
now to watch SA finish the job on the Aussies in the cricket. if they bat all day should set Aussie 500 with two days to bowl them out
Philander has had a great start to test cricket, enjoy watching him bowl. adds balance to the attack imo
2 Dec 2012, 04:12 am
also. this loss will be the first real test of Hansens coaching credentials. shame we have to wait until next season. still not sold on his coaching and that of his assistants.
2 Dec 2012, 04:31 am
Chortle chortle chortle.For once a ref stood up and didnt ref under pobs rule and look at the result.Many more to come.Hurrah hurrah.
2 Dec 2012, 04:47 am
go Hash….
2 Dec 2012, 04:59 am
All i can say is England got NZ on an average day and themselves played out of there skins.
It was a thrashing to say the least.
But what i dont understand is some SA bloggers are correct in saying NZ should have no excuses especially about the season being too long, but hasnt that been the same reason from the SA supporters why the boks over the last 5-6 years been beaten at the EOTY tours?
Why is it different now?
@whatever-452:
Why are we arrogant??
Tell me who in the AB team is arrogant and whay have they done to make you think this?
2 Dec 2012, 05:02 am
@NZRugby-463:
I believe there was a South African born player in the English team….. to some sickos on here this is a victory to SA. Just look at some of the posts, even the posts from the South Africans that live in NZ, pathetic really.
2 Dec 2012, 05:21 am
The Article has about 8 chapters that just say exactly the same thing? in a different context LMFAO.
You mention NZ wanting to play the perfect game about 15 times and you just keep on repeating it on and on.. its almost as pathetic as listening to some of these little NZ tits harp on about the same thing.
Did i mention you mentions the same thing so many times about how NZ wished they played the perfect game over and over?
all it honestly had to read was..
NZ Got smashed by the worst NH team out there?
2 Dec 2012, 05:22 am
@the authority-426:
Why the jealous post?
Why are we chokers? I thought we are an ordinary team that flukes wins.
Yet we choked cos we didnt get an unbeaten season. Remember we still have longest win streak for a tier 1 nation, as SA does.
2 Dec 2012, 05:23 am
@wls1-479:
England the worst NH team??
Are you serious?
2 Dec 2012, 05:28 am
@Hurricane-478: snivell snivell.
2 Dec 2012, 05:32 am
Hurri
don’t waste your breath
they are living vicariously through this victory
SA has beaten NZ 1 out of the last 8 tests
and Aussir have beaten them something like 8 from 10 tests
let them have their moment enjoying NZs first loss to any nation in 18 months
2 Dec 2012, 05:34 am
The two crash ball, hard tackled centres’ combo proved successful on the day for the Poms, similar to the Muller/Mulder partnership during Mallett time.
It might reassure HM to keep JdJ at all cost out and to use a similar concept that worked successfuly for him at the Bulls with the Nel/Walsh centres’ combo.
Big size and powerful backs proved everything again, could be the end of the ABs’ selection of Jane, Dagg, Smith & Smith in the same line up, Fruen time is around the corner!
Clancy contribution was about 14-21 points, let’s not get ahead of ourselves
2 Dec 2012, 05:38 am
spect but I have been saying for a while now this Kiwi team has flaws and once we stop putting them on a pedestal and start being braver and selecting properly we will be better than them….the Poms have provided a blueprint and watch 2013…….I see a big year for Boks and more consistent losses for Kiwis….they have weaknesses and will be exposed imo….
the Buly was well and truly bullied ….
Had a gut feel all week Poms were gonna pull this 1 off….gotta credit them Buldogs….
2 Dec 2012, 05:39 am
spect is respect
2 Dec 2012, 05:47 am
Boring Boks unbeaten and the best defence in the business… next stop putting together better attacking phase play… get rid of Loubscher and get an international back’s coach…
2 Dec 2012, 05:53 am
Chokers lol
Thank you England for giving me the hightlight of My year
2 Dec 2012, 05:53 am
Blacks front row totally owned at scrumtime
2 Dec 2012, 05:55 am
@Hondo-484:
Barritt isn’t exactly a big crash ball centre.
2 Dec 2012, 05:56 am
could it be that Horegate last week popped the fragile Kiwi confidence bubble (Didn’t see the game, but did Carter have those scared, teary, saucer eyes when they were losing??)
And Keo – really bad article – leave the crystal meth till after writing
2 Dec 2012, 05:56 am
Damn, I see Kallis has gone.
2 Dec 2012, 06:00 am
@poppa69-483: We will,ha ha ha.
2 Dec 2012, 06:06 am
@Hurricane-478:
Grow a set of balls boet……you sound like a whinging git!
2 Dec 2012, 06:08 am
@poppa69-473:
Were you not having a go at the Proteas just last week? Anyway, I love ANY team giving the Aussies a go in cricket if only to hear the biased commentators choking on their own spittle! More biased does not exist anywhere in the world.
A test series against the #1 team in the world and Channel 9 could not find a single SA commentator to bring to the party. Kudos to the ABC who is a joy to listen to.
@poppa69-474:
Mmm true, you just got the feeling this team will keep on winning no matter the input of the coach. Of course this only hold true until you start losing and then things start changing. Next year will show us the true colours of not only Hansen but also the Meyer…
2 Dec 2012, 06:09 am
@Hurricane-480:
Hurricane, do you not get it?
You have a very good team, but you and your ilk on Keo think you are Go ds gift to rugby and are so up yourselves with arrogance it is laughable, so when you take a solid hiding like you did it is lovely to watch for that reason and that reason only
Suck it up!
2 Dec 2012, 06:30 am
England in the penthouse,NZ in the shithouse??Ag vok Keohane,are you back smoking the white stuff?
2 Dec 2012, 06:33 am
Hehehe it was party night at the keo mansion, that is for sure. I think he slipped in an extra line before he wrote this…
2 Dec 2012, 06:36 am
Here are some facts
1. England now think they are the greatest rugby team in the world again
and are close to calling themselves “World champions”
2. Springboks played Poms 4 times this year winning 3 and drawing one , and ABs just once where they lost, so boks now claim to be # 1 and also world champions.
3. Aussie also claim now to be world champions because they beat us once and also the poms
There you go
2 Dec 2012, 06:37 am
@Slartibartfast-498:
Actually, Keos mother is a Kiwi, and his father English.
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