Potent Pommies pulverise imperfect All Blacks

Potent Pommies pulverise imperfect All Blacks

MARK KEOHANE writes that England, at least until the teams next meet, are in the penthouse and all of New Zealand’s rugby world champions will be made to feel like home for the next six months is closer to the shithouse.

England won a Test that was more a non contest 38-21 and they won it in a manner surely only their players could have believed was possible.

England also ensured international rugby remains a game of hope for those who play the All Blacks and not merely an opportunity for the game’s self proclaimed Messiah to deliver an exhibition of the supposed idealism of the game.

The rugby gods have a way of ensuring this is a game meant for mortals that appreciate the triumph and fallibility of mortals. New Zealand, in recent weeks, bemoaned the imperfection of their mortal performances and turned their attention to an indulgent and self-absored inner search for rugby immortality.

It was painful to listen to how no win was good enough as the game’s best players bemoaned their vulnerability in making mistakes, but it will never be as painful as the beating inflicted on them by an England team apparently lacking in ambition, belief and of inferior playing pedigree.

The All Blacks, strained at the continued imperfections of every Test victory, spoke of finishing the year with the perfect performance but got only to know the feeling of a non-performance.

No English team has ever been as uncharitable, brutal and belittling when hosting the All Blacks. How wonderfully entertaining of the English to finally show some mongrel and to do it with a poise more befitting of the pending immortals wearing black.

England played as if sent by the gods to remind the All Blacks that reward comes from beating the opposition and not the romantic notion of a perfect rugby performance.

Playing the perfect game will never be possible, but the All Blacks who took a beating at Twickenham will know there is something like the most painful game.

Celebrate England and smile. The result was perfect, which is very different to a performance assessed on a belief that it has to be perfect.

The sport needed this result as much as the All Blacks needed a reminder that beating the opposition is still the greater reward and reason to play the game than the self indulgent notion that victory comes not in who they beat but in their ability to play the perfect game.

Players, who have made New Zealand the best team in the world in the last 20 months, will never know what it feels like to be perfect in 80 minutes of Test rugby, but they certainly will speak with authority about how it feels to be pulverised and made to feel pedestrian, pathetic and pulverised.

England, expected to play with passion but no poise, precision or perfection, were ruthless, adventurous and never reckless in taking the game’s champs and for 80 minutes treating them like chumps.

The hosts, heroic and inspirational, led 15-0 at half-time in the most emphatic domination of the All Blacks in the history of the two teams. Don’t belittle what England achieved. Not since Jonny Wilkinson kicked the most famous drop goal in English rugby to win England the 2003 World Cup has a nation had as much reason to feel so bloody good on a Saturday night after a Test match.

This was never a contest. In the context of the 80 minutes New Zealand were fortunate not to concede 50 points.

It would do every England player a disservice to speak of New Zealand player fatigue as the reason for the defeat, and it would also do England a disservice to want to read anything beyond the 80 minutes into the performance.

This match needs to celebrated for a result that balances the world order, even if only temporarily, but more importantly for 80 of the finest minutes in England’s professional rugby history.

It reminded me of Buster Douglas knocking out Mike Tyson as among sport’s greatest upsets. The more the England backs trampled over the limp New Zealand defence, the more surreal it seemed. It was a beating of the most emphatic nature and it showed what is possible in any one-off contest where adventure and belief match the physicality and commitment.

New Zealand in the professional era average just over one Test defeat a year. This was it. The unbeaten Test run of 20 ended with a knockout, but it was the All Blacks who were floored. Ultimately it may prove that the most humiliating of defeats proves the most inspiring of results in the push for a successful defence of the World Cup in 2015.

England’s win was their first against the All Blacks and Springboks in 20 Tests so there is no crisis in New Zealand rugby and there certainly should not be any talk just yet of England being world champions in 2015.

Celebrate what is possible when it all comes together for a team in 80 minutes. Call it magnificent and don’t be shy in using every bit of purple praise to commend a performance and a result that is a contradiction of the player pedigree of the sides and certainly of the results in the last two seasons.

England’s players will believe it is possible to win, even against the might of the All Blacks. And New Zealand’s finest will know it is possible to lose, even against a youthful England.

Twickenham on Saturday will be mentioned every time a team is dismissed as a challenger to the world’s best in New Zealand. It will also be the reminder to every All Black player and every New Zealand supporter that if the professional game’s two greatest players Richie McCaw and Dan Carter could so decisively be pummeled in 80 minutes, no match can be assumed safe on the basis of the black jersey and previous performances.

New Zealand produce the quality of England’s finest moment since 2003 three matches in four. Their domination of the game and standards of excellence often mean that their finest matches are not given the necessary accolades because of all the talk of playing the perfect game.

Perhaps New Zealand’s public will again appreciate what constitutes a fine All Blacks win because they again know what it feels like to be humiliated on at least one Saturday in the Test calendar year.

I expect there to be humility in the post match talk from both camps. England will talk of the need to back up this type of all-round win against the very best and deliver consistently in big tournaments. New Zealand can’t but acknowledge this was a day in which they g0t whipped in every aspect of the game.

New Zealand’s 2011 World Cup-winning squad peaked with the most decisive last 40 minutes against the Springboks at Soccer City. It was a match that defined the quality of the world champions. Twickenham will be the start of a building towards a younger side for New Zealand. That is not a bad thing because what Saturday showed is that if the legs are not there no amount of wisdom, experience of historical brilliance can guarantee a winning result.

England were passionate in everything they did, accurate, clinical and crushingly brutal in the collisions. The result and the flow of the game would have surprised no-one had the winners being wearing black.

Give England their due. On this particular Saturday, All Blacks wingers Cory Jane and Julian Savea were as good as they have been all year. For the rest England won at the scrum, the lineout, field position, ball possession and most importantly in every collision. They advanced metres. The men in black were manhandled and carried back with as much ferocity.

The black jersey is again the cape of mortals. Hooray for that.

The 2015 World Cup again has an appeal. Nothing can ever be taken as a given when World Cup glory is determined in 80 minutes.

England have players capable of playing rugby as it was meant to be played. New Zealand, the bench mark of excellence, have players capable of taking a beating. The challenger played with the authority of the champion and the champion with the confusion and bewilderment of a mere pretender taking a pounding.

Take away the identities of the players and the two teams and reflect on the rugby. It was deserving of a standing ovation.

England believed and the All Blacks were never given a chance to not believe. The blows, all legal, were landed in the first collisions and sustained for the duration of the contest. New Zealand were never in this game and the momentum was always with those blokes in white.

England flanker Tom Wood was named Man of the Match but centre Manu Tualigi will remember this day as the one in which greats were made to look like greying pensioners. England’s triumph was New Zealand’s humiliation.

Carter played with the hesitation of a general who wasn’t fit enough to be in battle. Not even the finest are exempt if the mind knows the body is bleeding. Not even the greatest of them all McCaw could match the intensity of England, individually or collectively.

The All Blacks, beaten up for 50 minutes, countered with a flurry that historically would have be followed by a fundamental lesson that this is a team that can be dazed but never regarded defeated. Jane’s footwork and fighting qualities inspired 14 points.

England, 15 points clear and on the rampage, suddenly led by a point and the assumption was the last 20 minutes would be theirs by default more than design. Every other opponent has imploded at the ease with which an hour of control is undone within three minutes.

England’s players, unlike every other opponent in the last 18 months, simply played with greater adventure in response to New Zealand’s terrific two-try cameo and scored a brilliant try of their own. The confidence of England led to more chaos within New Zealand and the reality of circumstance for once proved more influential and defining than the mystique of the might of the black jersey.

England believed they could not lose. The All Blacks knew this was a day they could not win. They were courageous in trying to summon something but England’s reward for refusing to succumb to history and play the situation on merit was the most comprehensive English win in the history of battles between the two countries.

There was nothing fortunate about the win, but there was something particularly fabulous. England played the near perfect blend of rugby New Zealand talks about, in appreciation for width but with precision and not recklessness, in respect of 80 minutes and not 60 and with regard to an opponent who never lacked in desire but never threatened to terrorise.

This was a day when England looked like a team of wonderfully conditioned international rugby players and New Zealand looked bemused, battered and beaten by the refusal of a team to be beaten by a jersey worn by players who had not lost in 18 months, but who on the day were taken a beating.

The best team won at Twickenham on the basis of 80 minutes. Enjoy it England because while no one can say it will be a once in a 100 performance against the world’s best it certainly was a once in 20.

As for New Zealand it was a once in 21 defeat.

Perspective? Not just yet.

All of England deserve to boast about this one. It was that kind of demolition job.

And all of New Zealand should replace the patronising talk of the All Blacks being a team in search of playing the perfect game to a team that was painfully pulverised in their last game.

Perspective? Not for the weekend at least.

 


744 Comments

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  • 151.Guns: Reply to this comment

    Kiwis are clearly fried after a long season.. let the Food poisoning inquisitions begin!

  • 152.katman: Reply to this comment

    Kieran Read – what a terrible pass.

  • 153.Slumtown: Reply to this comment

    @skopdiekan-146: every one has an off day – its the overall win count that matters twitface lol.

  • 154.kaksioek: Reply to this comment

    OK, Carter is Tuilagi’s *****.

  • 155.Slumtown: Reply to this comment

    lol this is getting really embarrasing for the All Blacks.

  • 156.Hondo: Reply to this comment

    The Boks really look like the team to beat with the circus unfolding in front of us right now?

  • 157.hendrikp: Reply to this comment

    @Slumtown-113:

    Soft in the head huh?

  • 158.Hurricane: Reply to this comment

    Oh well, nicely played England.
    ABs looking terrible.
    But still an excellent season from the Champs

  • 159.kaksioek: Reply to this comment

    England must keep playing.

  • 160.DEE DAH: Reply to this comment

    So all the experts saying a 15-16 win against England isn’t good enough what do you say now? That includes Keo!

  • 161.Nils: Reply to this comment

    Oh, well. It happens. England did very good job, while ABs didn’t. Unless a miracle happens, England can receive congratulations.

  • 162.kaksioek: Reply to this comment

    Are the Kiwis going to right some more odes to Conrad Smith after this game?

  • 163.john123: Reply to this comment

    Last week the weather conditions played a massive part

    I think if conditions were better perhaps England might have scored a few tries vs South Africa

  • 164.katman: Reply to this comment

    Why take Farrell off now?

  • 165.nortierd: Reply to this comment

    A game to far, but hats off to England. They are playing great rugby

  • 166.Slumtown: Reply to this comment

    All Blacks def dont have the rub of the green today – a game vs France would have been well interesting after this.

  • 167.kaksioek: Reply to this comment

    Two-man rolling maul!

  • 168.groen: Reply to this comment

    anywhere I can listen to the game online?

  • 169.Gazelle: Reply to this comment

    Yes!!!!! This made my morning. These all blacks that thinks they are invincible…. And dnt pull The long season card, sa And aus had long season too… Especially our over played boks

  • 170.Slumtown: Reply to this comment

    How do you take off an in form flyhalf like Farrell when your on top?

  • 171.kaksioek: Reply to this comment

    Could have been a penalty try there!

  • 172.DEE DAH: Reply to this comment

    Poms couldn’t score a try against us. That’s 3 against the AB’s and would have been 4 but for some cynical offsides

  • 173.katman: Reply to this comment

    @Slumtown-166: You saying they’ve been done in by the ref? Because that’s rubbish.

  • 174.kaksioek: Reply to this comment

    What a hiding!

  • 175.lesiba: Reply to this comment

    @john123-163: Fair analysis. However, let’s not forget that SA’s defence as compared to that of the ABs seems far superior.

  • 176.NZINCHINA: Reply to this comment

    A win for England is not a win for SA you desperados.

  • 177.skopdiekan: Reply to this comment

    Told you this AB team are ordinary
    England fcking them up holy left right and center and the dumb bloody hopeless SA rugby coach sucks up to this ordinaryness as if its goddamn invincible

  • 178.HongKongSlong: Reply to this comment

    On comes the calvary now for England, goig for 50 points I suspect!

  • 179.Slumtown: Reply to this comment

    @Nils-161: well said

  • 180.Nils: Reply to this comment

    @Gazelle-169: “These all blacks that thinks they are invincible”

    Sheesh. The only ones who keep that mentioning are the locals here.

  • 181.DEE DAH: Reply to this comment

    @Gazelle-169:
    And the doubters will say its not a full strength AB side. When have the Boks fielded a full strength side this season.
    We would have done this to them in NZ if Morne had his kicking boots on

  • 182.The Analyst: Reply to this comment

    @john123-163: Oh here we go already …. England could have done this, should have done that. The boks beat them. Deal with it. doos.

    So now they are the best team in the world?

    Typical pom arrogance as usual after a one off win.

  • 183.suffer_guy: Reply to this comment

    Boks beat england….. Nz – killed

  • 184.kaksioek: Reply to this comment

    @groen-168: http://www.vipboxsports.eu/sports/rugby.html

  • 185.Hurricane: Reply to this comment

    @skopdiekan-177:
    You have said a lot of things.
    But 1 draw and a loss out of 21 games is not ordinary.

  • 186.NZINCHINA: Reply to this comment

    177 you are a farking genuis.

  • 187.groen: Reply to this comment

    @kaksioek-184: thanx mate

  • 188.Hurricane: Reply to this comment

    @suffer_guy-183:
    NZ beat SA twice…..what is your point?

  • 189.suffer_guy: Reply to this comment

    Surely after this hammering, boks are nr 1

  • 190.katman: Reply to this comment

    @DEE DAH-181: Who are they missing, apart from the hore? Thomson? Kaino? No, this is pretty much their full strength team.

  • 191.kaksioek: Reply to this comment

    @NZINCHINA-176: Suck it! Couldn’t have happened to a more deserving supporter.

  • 192.Slumtown: Reply to this comment

    @skopdiekan-177: ja they didnt look so hot last week against an all over the place Bok team. Every team has a good day once in a while. And every teams has their off days. Dont get carried away now.

  • 193.Hurricane: Reply to this comment

    @suffer_guy-189:
    Boks need to beat NZ once in a while to get that. They cannot rely on others to get them to #1

  • 194.suffer_guy: Reply to this comment

    21 points? Against the so called world champs? Not a good adver

  • 195.Nils: Reply to this comment

    That’s it. Congratulations, England, well deserved win and impressive playing, very well done indeed.

    For the ABs, disappointed, of course, but no one can win all games, so sooner or later a loss was inevitable. Beaten by the better and hungrier side today.

    Well done English!

  • 196.suffer_guy: Reply to this comment

    Advert for rugby…

  • 197.Big Hit: Reply to this comment

    Lancaster just keeps throwing more and more kids

  • 198.katman: Reply to this comment

    Again Ashton can’t take the final pass.

  • 199.suffer_guy: Reply to this comment

    All black should bring on carter, mccaw and read asap…. Oh wait !!, lmao

  • 200.NZINCHINA: Reply to this comment

    191 we still own you buddy remember that

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